


A Peculiar Unfathomable Combination

by Ksue



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Co-workers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6292282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksue/pseuds/Ksue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan and Rose are colleagues, not friends. Certainly not lovers. Nathan isn’t even her type. So when his family misunderstands their relationship, she’s more surprised than anyone to find herself in no hurry to set them straight.</p><p>"Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding."<br/>-Diane Arbus</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy the start of my new multi-chapter fic! I've got the first several chapters written, and I hope to update every other week, as long as life doesn't get in the way. 
> 
> Just so everyone knows, because I know this can be a point of concern for people, Rose will NOT be cheating on Mickey with Nathan. This is not an affair fic. 
> 
> Also, I know that there are difference between British and American wedding festivities, but I've blended them a bit.

Chapter 1

_Mr. and Mrs. Clive Jones_  
_And_  
_Mr. and Mrs. Alton Noble_  
_Request the honor of your presence_  
_At the marriage of their children_  
_Martha Jones_  
_And_  
_Nigel Noble_  
_Saturday the sixth of May_  
_At six o’clock in the evening_  
_Conkwell Grange_  
_Wiltshire_  
_Reception to follow_

_And you’d better use that plus one, young man._

Nathan cursed his family, and not for the first time. The invitation had been sitting on his desk for weeks, mocking him at every turn, and he was running out of time. The wedding was in a week, and Nathan was not the type of man who could go out and get a date at the drop of a hat. He was very good at being unapproachable, and the size of his ears made sure that most women didn’t even bother to try getting past his defenses. 

Normally it didn’t matter. He’d resigned himself years ago to life as a bachelor, with only the boys at the Noble House for his children. That was probably why his mother was insisting on him bringing a plus one. She always wanted to believe that his love life was a secret instead of non-existent. 

A soft knock at the door startled him, and he looked up to see Rose Tyler, the newest resident counselor, standing in the doorway. She smiled when his eyes landed on her, and stepped into the office. 

“What’s got you in such a sour mood?” she asked. Nathan scowled at her, and her eyes went a bit wide. “Sorry, I can just…”

“No, it’s fine,” Nathan said, waving at one of the empty chairs opposite his desk. “My brother is getting married next weekend. I’ve been instructed to bring a plus one.”

Rose laughed and the whole room brightened. 

“Somehow I can’t imagine anyone instructing you to do anything,” she teased. 

“No one says no to Sylvia Noble,” Nathan sighed. Rose chuckled, tucking a strand of bottle blonde hair behind her ears. Nathan tilted his head to study her better. She was too young for him by half, but with her bright smile and sparkling, whiskey colored eyes, he could imagine boys falling at her feet for the chance to take her out. 

A light pink blush colored Rose’s cheeks, and Nathan realized that he’d been staring for a beat too long. He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair.

“So, what can I do for you?” he asked. 

“Oh, I need Duncan Peters for a follow up session tomorrow, but the only space I have in the schedule is during his tutoring appointment. Can we shift it?” Rose asked. She pulled out her iPad and opened the house schedule, which kept track of the appointments for each of the six boys in residence. 

Nathan took the iPad from her, even though he hated it, and glanced over the tutoring schedule to see where adjustments could be made. He handed it back to her with a nod. 

“Switch Duncan with Rodrick. I’ll let them know in a minute,” Nathan said. Rose nodded and stood, ready to head out of the office. The sway of her hips as she moved towards the door was hypnotizing. 

“Good luck finding a plus one,” Rose said over her shoulder. Nathan grunted a response, his mind already wandering. 

There really weren’t any suitable candidates. He had few friends, and even fewer of the female variety. He briefly considered hiring someone, but cringed at the idea. His mind wandered back to Rose. She was cute enough, and she would almost certainly charm his family into leaving him alone for a while. Besides, he knew she had a bloke so there was no danger of her getting attached. 

He resolved to ask her.

#

Rose was exhausted. She’d been working at the Noble House for Boys for a couple of months, and she still wasn’t quite used to the toll it took on her each day. All she wanted was to get back to her flat, take a bath, and have a glass of wine. Hopefully Mickey wouldn’t be too needy, she wasn’t sure she could indulge him. 

She finished packing her work bag, turned off the lights to her office, and headed for the door. To her surprise, Nathan was doing the same. In her experience, he rarely left at a reasonable time, often working late into the night. She admired that kind of dedication, and the obvious affection he had for the boys in his care. He was a bit grumpy, though. 

“Headed home?” she asked. Nathan nodded, falling into step beside her as they walked outside. He was a good deal taller than her, with a lithe, runner’s body. She could never decide if he was handsome or not. 

“You know that wedding I mentioned?” Nathan asked, just as they were about to part ways. 

“Yeah,” she said carefully, not sure where the question was headed. 

“Would…I know you’ve got a bloke but…would you want to be my plus one?” Nathan rubbed at the back of his neck as he waited for her answer. 

For a moment, Rose’s instinct was to say no. Blokes asked her out all the time, despite the engagement ring she wore, sometimes even when she was with Mickey. She’d started to almost expect it. Nathan knew about Mickey, though, and this didn’t strike her as a date. Nathan was clearly getting desperate, and she wondered if she might be the only woman he talked to on a regular basis. 

“You said it’s this weekend?” she asked. 

“Yeah. I’m an usher, and my family does like to celebrate, so we’d have to be in Wiltshire for the whole weekend,” Nathan explained. Rose chewed her lip as she considered it. She didn’t have any plans, and there was a match on, so Mickey would spend most of Saturday at the pub. It might be fun to get away for a weekend. 

“Sure,” she said. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

Nathan looked genuinely shocked, and she couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Thanks,” he said. 

“No problem,” Rose said, patting his arm. “We can discuss the details tomorrow.”

#

Rose didn’t realize until the next evening, standing in front of her closet, that she had nothing to wear to a wedding. Only one of her good friends was married, and that had been a quick ceremony at the Register’s Office. She hadn’t been to a big wedding since she was a girl, and it showed in her wardrobe. 

“Rose! You ready yet?” Mickey called from the living room. They were meeting friends for a night out, but Mickey wanted to stop at his favorite chippy down the road first. She sighed and shimmied into dark jeans that were a bit too tight and a slinky top that shimmered nicely under club lights. She slipped a dropped leather jacket over it, since the weather was still a bit cool at night. 

“Coming,” she said, finding Mickey standing by the door, nearly tapping his feet in his impatience. He stopped when she turned the corner, his jaw going a bit slack. 

“You look great, babe,” he said, sliding his arm around her waist and leaning in for a kiss. 

“Come on then, you were in such a hurry,” Rose said, urging him out the door. 

On the way to the chippy, they passed one of Rose’s favorite boutique shops. She almost never went inside, the prices were more than she could afford as a student and even now that she was a graduate with a job she avoided going in out of habit, but she loved their window displays. The dress there now was perfect for the wedding. Navy blue silk, a yellow floral pattern that was bold without being too much, and a slightly flared skirt, Rose knew it would also compliment her figure. Besides, she had navy shoes and a fascinator at home to match. 

“Micks, hold on,” she said, hanging back to study the dress in the window. Mickey heaved a dramatic sigh and trudged back to her side. 

“Rose, come on, I’m starvin’!” 

“I just want to try on this dress,” she said, pulling the door open.

“You can’t afford a dress like that!” Mickey cried. “And we’re not shoppin’, we’re supposed to be eatin’.”

Rose rolled her eyes and ignored him as she asked the shop girl to pull the dress in her size. The moment she slipped it on, Rose knew she had to have it. It hugged her body in just the right way, accentuating her small waist without making her hips look too large, and the silk felt like a dream against her skin. It really was too expensive, but it wouldn’t completely ruin her and she so rarely treated herself.

“What do you think?” Rose asked, stepping out of the dressing room to show the dress to Mickey. He sat in the chair with his arms crossed, glowering. 

“I think it makes you look a bit posh,” he said, and Rose knew it wasn’t a compliment. 

“Well I love it, and I’m getting it,” she said, resisting the temptation to stick out her tongue. 

“What’d you need a new dress for anyway? We never go anywhere that posh.”

“I’m going to a wedding with a friend this weekend, and I don’t have anything nice to wear,” she said. Mickey’s eyes narrowed. 

“What friend? Why haven’t I heard about this?” 

“Nathan, the bloke who runs the Noble House. His brother is getting married, he needed a plus one. Besides, you’ll be at the pub all day Saturday, and you’ll be too hung over on Sunday to do anything but moan about it, so it’s not like we had plans,” Rose said. 

“You’re going to a wedding with another bloke? I don’t think so,” Mickey said on a laugh. Rose changed back into her club clothes and handed the dress to the shop girl.

“There’s a pair of earrings that would be lovely with this,” the girl said, pointing Rose to a pair of white and yellow rhinestone, floral shaped earrings. 

“Oh, those are gorgeous. I’ll take them too, thanks,” she agreed. As the shop girl rang them up, Rose made it a point not to look at the prices. Instead, she turned to Mickey. “You can just stuff it. I’m not going to sit around the flat bored out of my mind just so you don’t have to be jealous.”

“I just don’t think it’s right,” Mickey said. 

“Nathan and I are just friends, Micks. You’ve nothing to worry about.”

Mickey continued to sulk all through chips and the club, but Rose wasn’t going to let him get her down. When they finally crawled into bed in the wee hours of the morning, Rose drifted to sleep with a smile on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pointing out again that I'm blending American and British wedding traditions. 
> 
> Also, the listing for the home that inspired Nathan's family estate. 
> 
> Thanks so much for the feedback on Chapter One! I'd love to hear what everyone thinks of Chapter Two!

Chapter 2

By Friday morning, Mickey was still sulking. It was grating on Rose’s nerves; she felt like she was living with a child, throwing tantrums whenever he didn’t get his way. She felt less badly for leaving by the minute. 

“I’m going!” she called, as she rolled her suitcase to the doorway. Since the rehearsal and the dinner were that evening, she and Nathan were working half a day and heading to Wiltshire straight from work. 

There was no response. She sighed and trudged into the en suite, where Mickey was finishing up his shave. She pressed herself into his back, sliding her arms around his stomach and pressing a kiss to his bare shoulder. 

“Come on, Micks,” she said. “Don’t be like this.”

“Don’t be like what? I’m not bein’ like anything,” he grumbled. 

“You’re mad because I’m going with Nathan to this wedding.”

Mickey finally met her eyes in the mirror.

“Why would that make me mad? My fiancée is just spending the weekend as another blokes date!”

Rose struggled to remain patient. She couldn’t believe they were having this discussion again. 

“Mickey, you know it’s not like that. Nathan and I are just colleagues. We’re barely even friends, but he needed a plus one and he asked me, so I said yes.”

“If you’re not even that close, why would you agree to spend the weekend with him?” 

“God, Mickey, you make it sound like I’ve agreed to shag him all weekend! I’m just going to be his plus one. And I’m doing it because he does so much for the boys at Noble House and he never asks for anything. He deserves to get some help when he does. It’s not like we’re running away together,” Rose explained. 

“Promise you’ll come back?” he asked. Rose slid her left hand up his chest so that her ring glinted in the light. 

“I said I’d marry you, didn’t I?” Mickey sighed and covered her hand with his. 

“Fine. Have fun.”

Rose surged up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Bye.”

Her issues with Mickey solved, the morning passed quickly for Rose. She had a group therapy session with all the boys in the house, and then spent the rest of the time updating her files and trying to stay calm. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a weekend away.

“Ready?” Nathan asked, hovering in her doorway. Rose jumped at the rumble of his voice. 

“Oh! Sorry, time got away from me. Just gimme a mo’ and I’ll be set.” Rose made a few last minute notes, and then put away her files and shut down her computer. 

“I’ll put this in the car. Come out when you’re ready,” Nathan said, taking her suitcase. 

“Thanks,” Rose murmured, distracted trying to make sure she remembered everything. Finally she locked her office and joined Nathan at his car. She wasn’t sure what she expected him to drive, but the bright blue coupe that greeted her was not it. She laughed a little; he looked so out of place leaning against the pristine, gleaming hood in his jeans, sturdy work boots, and leather jacket. 

“That’s your car?” Rose asked as he gallantly opened the door for her. He grinned in a way that made him look years younger. 

“Yep.”

He climbed into the driver’s seat and easily navigated onto the motorway. Rose expected the car to be cramped, but it was surprisingly roomy, and the leather seat was soft beneath her. For a bit she just watched London passing by. 

Nathan was glad for the quiet. He appreciated that Rose had agreed to join him for the weekend, but he hated small talk. What were they supposed to talk about all the way to Wiltshire? He took a deep breath as he tried to think of something to talk about, but he suddenly realized he barely knew her. He knew her professional credentials, but it was the weekend, she wouldn’t want to talk about work. Maybe she’d want to talk about her boyfriend.

“What’s your boyfriend do?” Nathan asked abruptly as the city gave way to countryside. 

“Mickey? He’s a mechanic.”

“Must pay well, to get you a ring like that.” Rose bristled a bit, but forced herself to relax. His words hadn’t been judgmental or unkind, he was simply making small talk. 

“It was my grandmum’s actually. He didn’t even have it when he asked, we got it from my mum later,” Rose admitted, rubbing her thumb along the band. The vintage, art deco ring had been handed down from her grandmum, to her mum, and to her. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was more than she or Mickey could have ever afforded.   
She didn’t feel the need to mention that they’d both been totally pissed when he asked.

“When’s the wedding then?” 

Rose shrugged. “Dunno, someday. There’s no rush, really.”

“Then what’s the point of being engaged?”

“That’s a bit rude,” Rose said, frowning at him. He glanced away from the motorway, taking in her crossed arms and the scowl on her face. He winced, and then chuckled a bit nervously.

“Sorry, a bit out of practice me.” 

Rose felt her frown give way to a smile. They continued chatting along the drive, and Rose realized that even though they’d been working closely together at Noble House for months, she barely knew Nathan. He was wickedly smart, with a sharp tongue. He was gentle too, though, that much she’d seen with the boys. It was a contradiction of the best kind. 

They reached Wiltshire quickly, and Rose was distracted from their conversation by the countryside. She’d only been there once before, on a school trip to see Stonehenge, and she’d been too young to appreciate the quiet that came with a country life. 

“Here we are,” Nathan said, turning into a drive hidden by a large hedge. Rose couldn’t help but gasp as the house came into view. No, she thought, house wasn’t the right word. It was an estate, of an entirely different type than the one she grew up on. The stone house was enormous, one section covered in ivy vines. It looked like something out of an Austen novel, and it stole Rose’s breath away.

“Your family…lives here?” she asked, her hands shaking a bit. Nathan grunted.

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t realize…”

“What? That my family is wealthy?”

“You never said,” Rose breathed. She tried to peer around the side of the house, but all she could see was an expanse of green. “Oh, I shouldn’t have come.”

She meant to say it to herself, but Nathan heard her anyway. He frowned. 

“What are you on about?” he asked. His words were clipped, perturbed. 

“I’m just a girl from a London estate, Nathan. If you wanted to impress your family by bringin’ a plus one, you picked the wrong person,” she said, risking a glance at him. His eyes were hard, burning in anger.

“Don’t be stupid, you’re not meeting the Queen. We might have money, but so what? You’re educated and kind and doing something good with your life. Everybody starts somewhere, my family knows that. They don’t care where you grew up. It’s what you do with yourself now that matters.”

Without waiting for a reply, Nathan got out of the car and went to the boot for their luggage. Rose took a deep, shuddering breath and blew it out slowly, trying to calm her nerves. She wanted a posh weekend away, she was getting it. And no family that raised a man like Nathan could be all bad. She gathered her strength and followed Nathan.

“Where have you been? Sylvia is going spare!” A ginger haired woman waited in the doorway of the house, her hands on her hips and an eyebrow arched pointedly at Nathan. 

“I’m not late!” Nathan insisted. 

“Well you’re not early either. Leave the bags in the foyer and get to the gardens or she’s going to slap you into next year,” the woman insisted. 

“Donna, this is Rose,” Nathan said as they passed through the entry to the house. “Rose, this is my sister Donna.”

“Yes, yes, there’ll be time for introductions later, get to the gardens!” Donna said again. Rose hung back, unsure if she was meant to stay or go. She wasn’t part of the family, nor was she in the wedding party, but she wasn’t quite sure what else to do. “You too, Rose!” 

She didn’t have time to gape at the interior of the house as Donna rushed them through the back door. The grounds were immaculate, and Rose wondered again if she’d dreamed herself into a novel. Donna led them to a lush rose garden with a stone fountain. A small, simple white table stood before the fountain, and chairs lined facing it. There were only a few people milling about. 

“Nathan!” An older woman, still regal in her coiffed grey hair and neatly trimmed dress, cried as they came into view. 

“I’m not late!” Nathan insisted again. The woman, who must have been his mother, just sighed.

“You can sit here and watch,” Donna leaned in to whisper as she passed. “We’ll meet properly later.”

Rose enjoyed the opportunity to watch Nathan interact with his family. Donna was clearly in charge, herding everyone into their positions. Nathan and his brother could have been twins, except that Nathan had more lines around his eyes and kept his hair cropped shorter. Both were the spitting image of their father, who was nothing like Rose expected after seeing the house. He seemed…normal, dressed in tan trousers and a royal blue jumper that brought out his eyes. He was relaxed and smiled easily as he allowed himself to be bustled around by Sylvia and Donna. 

The rehearsal was lively and Rose felt better about her status in life by the minute. These weren’t stuffy rich people. Sure, they had nice clothes and they lived in a fancy house, but they acted just like everyone else. 

Rose watched Nathan as he interacted with his family. She was used to seeing him at Noble House; disciplined, in-charge, and stern when he needed to be. She could tell how much he cared about the boys there, but they needed that discipline, that structure in order to succeed. 

Here, with his family, Nathan seemed freer, more at ease and relaxed than she had ever seen him. He joked and rough-housed with his brother, grinned and greeted his father with a handshake and a hug, allowed himself to be bossed around by his sister and gently nagged by his mother. As they practiced the ceremony for the next day, she could see that he fit there, among all of those people.

Finally, the minister had had enough and waved them all away. Nathan, smiling a wide, toothy grin, came to collect her. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I thought we’d get here with a little more time to spare.”

“It’s okay, really,” Rose said. “Your family seems lovely.”

“Just wait until you’ve had a chance to get to know them better, you may change your mind. Dinner awaits,” Nathan said, offering her his elbow with a wink. She laughed as she looped her arm through his and allowed him to lead her towards the rehearsal dinner. It was like a big garden party; tables covered in white cloths dotted the lush green landscape, brightly colored bouquets of flowers at the centers. People milled about with drinks and hors d’oeuvres. 

“All these people got invited to the rehearsal dinner?” Rose muttered. There must have been a hundred people wandering the estate. Nathan chuckled. 

“Yes, well. Sylvia Noble never does anything small.” 

“Nathan, dear!” Sylvia called from one of the tables. It looked like the family table, since Nathan’s father and sister were seated there as well. There were only two other spaces. 

“Mother,” Nathan greeted, leaning in to kiss Sylvia’s cheek. 

“And who is this?” Sylvia asked. She reached out for Rose’s hands, taking them in her own and smiling brightly at her. 

“This is Rose. She’s my plus one,” Nathan said, sounding a bit proud. Sylvia looked at her son, about to say something, when Rose felt her fingers skim over the engagement ring. Sylvia went still as a statue for a moment, and then yanked Rose’s hand up to eye level. 

“You’re engaged?!” Sylvia cried. Her shriek brought Donna and Nathan’s father running, and they all gathered. Rose’s mind was spinning, trying to think of what to do. 

“Um, well…” Nathan stammered. “We…we…”

“We didn’t want to steal Nigel’s thunder,” Rose interjected, surprising herself. She wasn’t even sure where the words came from. Nathan looked at her, startled, his lips parting to set the record straight. Rose shook her head.

“Oh my God! Nathan!” Donna smacked the back of Nathan’s head. He yelped and ducked.

“What was that for?” he cried. 

“Hiding away a fiancée, that’s what!” Sylvia shooed Rose towards the table. As Rose passed Nathan, she squeezed his arm. 

“You can earn points later, when you dump me for being horrible. It will get them off your back for a while,” Rose whispered. Nathan looked surprised, and then pleased. He nodded. 

“I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this from us!” Sylvia said again as they sat down, Rose situated in between Sylvia and Nathan. She actually sounded a bit hurt, and Rose hoped that when Nathan finally “dumped” her, it didn’t cause too much damage. 

“It’s…new,” Nathan said carefully. “Very, very new.”

“Well, tell us!” Donna demanded. “How’d you meet? How long’ve you been seeing each other?” 

Nathan shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable and unable to come up with a story. Rose pasted on a bright smile, and reached for his hand, threading their fingers together. 

“I work at Noble House, as a counselor for the boys,” she said, squeezing Nathan’s fingers in what she hoped was a reassuring way. “And it all happened very quickly. We only met a few months ago, and I think Nathan was more surprised than anyone when he asked me. He might have taken it back if I let him, but I held him to it.”

Rose hoped that by painting their relationship as short and their engagement impulsive, no one would be shocked when they heard it was over. 

“Nathan? Impulsive?” Alton, his father, asked. Rose laughed and Nathan forced a chuckle. 

“I might have had a pint or two in me,” he said. Rose smiled, encouraging him, and everyone laughed. 

“Well, I’m glad we’ve got this chance to get to know you, Rose,” Alton said. He smiled warmly at her, and Rose couldn’t help but smile back. She couldn’t believe she’d been so worried when they first arrived. Everyone was lovely. 

“I am too,” she said. And no matter what was to come, she meant it. 

#

The dinner went late into the evening, with old fashioned gas lanterns lit once the sun had set. Rose was tired, but happy, when the party finally dispersed. 

“You lot better get to bed,” Alton said. “We’ve got a full day tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” Rose asked. “Besides the ceremony, I mean.”

“Oh, a full schedule! The ceremony and reception aren’t until the evening, and we don’t want the guests to get bored so we’ve got plenty of activities to entertain everyone. Lawn games and the like,” Sylvia explained. Rose wondered if she had a background as an event planner, but didn’t ask. 

“That sounds wonderful, Mrs. Noble,” Rose said. 

“Oh do call me Sylvia dear. Mrs. Noble makes me feel old. And maybe someday soon you’ll start calling me mum,” Sylvia said with a wink. Nathan groaned. 

“Don’t encourage her,” he whispered to Rose.

“Thank you, Sylvia,” Rose said. 

“Which rooms are we in, mum?” Nathan asked Sylvia, leading Rose towards the house. 

“Your room,” she said. Nathan waited a beat. 

“And?”

“Well, your father’s cousin Rupert and his wife arrived this morning, and of course they didn’t RSVP like civilized people, but I can’t very well turn them away, now can I?   
They’ll make the holiday party absolutely miserable for the next five years if I do. You and Rose are engged, and I’m not that naïve, Nathan. You can’t tell me you’ve never shared a room before. Where’s the harm?” Sylvia asked. 

“You didn’t let Lee and I share a room until we got married!” Donna cried. Sylvia sighed. 

“Yes well, that’s different.”

“How?” Donna demanded. Rose saw Nathan tense up and open his mouth, ready to argue the point, but she quieted him with a hand on his arm. 

“Just leave it,” she whispered. “I can sleep on the floor or something.”

“Not bloody likely,” he said. 

They bid goodnight to his family and Nathan led Rose up the stairs to his childhood bedroom. It was furnished with a large bed in rich mahogany, a chaise lounge and an arm chair. There was also a bureau and a small vanity. The room was larger than the entire council flat she’d grown up in. 

“I think there’s plenty of room for both of us,” Rose said, taking a turn around the room, admiring the paintings on the wall and the view of the woods outside his window. 

He was quiet as he started to unpack, hanging his suit and his jumpers in the bureau. Rose watched his movements, tense and clipped. He’d been in such a wonderful mood until he found out they would be sharing a room. 

“Look, I’m sorry if I pushed too far…”

“No, it’s fine,” Nathan said after a heavy sigh. “It’s not that. I just...never mind, it’s not important. Do you need to hang anything?”

Rose pulled out her dress and hung it next to his suit, momentarily struck by the sight. There was something right about it that made her heart ache a bit. She shook off the feeling. 

They each turned their back as the other changed into pajamas. Rose’s were a bit skimpy, just tiny sleep shorts and a strappy top. She debated keeping her bra on, but it was so uncomfortable to sleep in and they were both adults. They could handle it. She took a deep breath, checked that Nathan had his back turned, and shucked off her top.

Nathan stared out the window, scanning the countryside of his childhood home. The day had certainly taken an unexpected turn, but he was happy to be back. He didn’t make it nearly often enough. 

A flash of movement in the corner of the window drew his eye, and he realized that Rose was reflected in the glass. She’d removed her top, and was reaching for the clasp of her bra. It fell away, exposing her bare back and the swell of her breast as she reached for her sleep top. Nathan felt himself start to harden. He closed his eyes against the sight, trying to give Rose her privacy and get himself under control.

When Rose turned around, finished changing, Nathan was staring out the window. He was dressed in thin grey joggers and a vest top that pulled tightly across his back. Rose could see each line of muscle as he shifted. 

“Um, done. You can turn around,” Rose said, her voice a bit hoarse. Nathan turned and took a seat in the armchair. 

“I’ll wait a bit and sneak down to the couch,” he offered. His eyes tracked quickly from her head to her toes, and it made heat rise in her cheeks. She turned down the blankets and slipped into the bed, pulling them back up to her shoulders. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Rose said. Now that her head was on a pillow, Rose’s eyelids began to droop and she realized just how knackered she was. Nathan reached out and turned off the light, but she could still see his eyes glittering in the dark.

“It’s fine. Go to sleep, Rose. And…thank you.”

“Welcome,” she mumbled, as she drifted off to sleep.

#

Rose wasn’t sure what woke her, but something had jarred her from sleep. She listened hard as she waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, trying to identify it. A pained whimper sounded from the direction of the armchair. Rose could just make out the shape of a man, slouched into the cushions, his head rolling back and forth. 

“Nathan?” she whispered. He whimpered and flinched. 

Sitting up, Rose turned on the bedside lamp. 

“Nathan,” she tried again, a bit louder. He didn’t respond, still deeply in the throes of the nightmare. 

She was debating whether or not a shout would wake the rest of the house when Nathan bolted upright, his chest heaving as he gulped in air. His eyes skipped wildly around the room before he slumped again, his head in his hands. 

“You okay?” Rose asked. Nathan scrubbed his hands over his face and groaned. 

“’M fine,” he mumbled.

“Are you sure?” Rose pressed. She’d had nightmares before, and while they were unsettling, she never felt as weary as Nathan looked. 

His haunted gaze met hers in the low light. 

“I said I’m fine, Rose.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was meant to go up last week, but I was on vacation in NYC seeing DAVID TENNANT in Richard II! (He even signed my playbill! I'm still freaking out...)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 3

When Rose woke again, Nathan was already gone. She found a loo just down the hall and showered quickly before slipping into her most comfortable jeans and a burgundy knit jumper. Then she dried her hair and put on minimal make-up. She’d have to redo both for the ceremony and reception later, but it would work for a bit. 

Finally feeling presentable enough to face the Noble family, she ventured downstairs. She hadn’t gotten a proper tour of the house, so she felt a bit lost, but once she found her way to the first floor, voices drew her to the kitchen. 

Rose hesitated in the doorway, overwhelmed by the chaos before her. The kitchen was bursting with mess and noise and people, all of which was spilling out in the formal dining room, where the massive antique dining table was full of people and platters of food. She could have sworn there weren’t that many at the rehearsal.

“Morning, Rose!” Nathan cried cheerily from near the stove as she hovered in the doorway. He looked well rested, no trace of the nightmare leftover as he flipped pancakes, but Rose wasn’t sure she believed it. “We’ve got pancakes, waffles, eggs, fruit, porridge, basically anything your heart desires. And of course, coffee.”

“Morning,” she grumbled. Despite the shower and feeling at least coherent, she needed coffee before she would be able to hold any kind of conversation. She barely remembered to at least try for politeness. “Coffee please.”

“Oh, that’s rich,” Donna laughed, pouring a cup and handing it to Rose. 

“What is?” Nathan asked, looking perplexed. Donna nodded at Rose. 

“Your intended is clearly not a morning person, Mr. Up-At-Dawn-Everyday.”

Rose slumped back against the counter, cradling the cup in both hands and taking a sip. Immediately the warm rush of caffeine flooded her veins. She sighed.

“Oh, that’s gorgeous. Thank you Donna.”

“Course. Sleep all right?” 

“Yeah, great thanks,” Rose said, deciding not to mention waking in the middle of the night to Nathan’s nightmare. She glanced at him, unsurprised to see that the cheery mask had fallen away. There was the Nathan she knew, grumpy as he was. “So, what’s on for this morning?”

“Sylvia insists we all have breakfast together. Then lawn games and the like until lunch. After lunch it will mostly be getting ready for the ceremony,” Donna explained. Rose didn’t miss the way Nathan winced when she mentioned lawn games. 

“I’m sorry I’ll have to abandon you while we’re getting ready,” Nathan said, meeting Rose’s eyes. “Sylvia would have a fit if there were a woman in the room.”

“Don’t worry,” she insisted. “I’m a big girl, I can entertain myself.”

“Oh, don’t be stupid!” Donna argued. “You’ll be with the girls. I know you’re not in the wedding party, but you’re going to be family soon enough.”

Rose tried her best to smile as the reality of the situation struck her. Nathan’s family was being so kind and welcoming, and she was deceiving them. The lie sat like a rock in her stomach

“Thanks, Donna,” she said.

Breakfast was a lively affair, just like dinner the night before. Rose ate her fill, and tried to go slowly on the mimosas that Alton kept refilling for her. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself in front of Nathan’s family. 

Shortly after breakfast, Donna took charge. There were plenty of things for the guests to do, from bowls and cricket, to horse riding, to touring the gardens. Sylvia insisted that her children (and Rose) join in.

“Well,” Nathan said, turning to Rose. “What would you like to do? I’m rubbish with bowls, and I haven’t played croquet since my gran beat me when I was twelve. A young boy’s ego just can’t come back from a loss like that. But we can walk over and have a look at the horses if you like, take a look at more of the grounds. Or, I’m sure Donna would love to have you on her cricket team.”

“Let’s go see the horses,” Rose said. “I’ve never seen one in person.”

“Never?” Nathan asked, looking at her like she’d grown another head. Rose laughed. 

“Yes, never! There aren’t exactly a lot of horses on the kind of estate where I grew up, you know.” Nathan’s eyes went wide, like he’d forgotten that her childhood had more in common with some of the boys at Noble House than it did with his. She smiled and bumped his shoulder, trying to tell him that all was well. 

“Of course. My mistake,” Nathan said. Then he bowed and held out a hand to her. “So milady, to make up for my unforgivable snobbery, please allow me to escort you to the stables and introduce you to my own horse, Balthazar. He’s a particularly handsome chestnut Thoroughbred, the nicest horse you’ll ever meet, spirited and a terrible flirt. You’ll love him.”

Rose laughed as she took his hand and he looped it through his arm, escorting her through the grounds. They followed the gravel paths away from the house, past manicured hedges and through a round opening in the stone wall that reminded Rose strongly of something you’d find upon entering Hobbiton. As they walked, Nathan told her stories from his childhood, scraped he’d gotten into with Nigel and Donna and their cousins, places they’d hide after they nicked fairy cakes from the kitchen. Rose reciprocated with stories of herself and the other estate kids running amok, playing in the dilapidated park, setting off fireworks on warm summer nights and then hiding from the police who were inevitably called.

They reached the stables and the crisp scent of fresh hay made Rose smile. Nathan led her through the maze of corridors, past numerous stalls, to a shorter corridor.

“All of the horses in this section of the stables are our personal horses,” Nathan said. “The rest are horses we board for others or those we’re charged with breeding and raising.”  
A chestnut colored horse poked it’s head from the last stall in the row when it heard Nathan’s voice. Nathan handed her half an apple that he’d kept hidden in his pocket somehow, and showed her how to keep her palm flat as she offered it to Balthazar. She was nervous that he would take her whole hand off when he ate the treat, but he plucked it from her hand without doing more than grazing it with his lips. She scratched his nose, surprised by how silky his skin felt, and laughed when he nuzzled her pockets looking for more. 

After visiting Balthazar and some of the other horses for a while, they returned to the lawn behind the house, where Donna easily convinced Rose to join her cricket team. 

Donna and Rose decided on cricket. Nathan sat at the table nearby, grumbling about how he never played cricket with his sister anymore, because she cheated.. 

“So I cheat, do I? Come on then,” Donna insisted, dragging him up by the ear. He yelped and batted at her hand while Rose laughed. 

“I’ll watch, but I’m not playing bloody cricket,” he said. He followed the ladies grudgingly, but Rose wasn’t about to let him sit out. She would give him a few minutes to watch, and then she would use every weapon in her arsenal to get him playing. 

It turned out she didn’t need to. Nathan held himself apart for only a moment before he declared that none of them knew what they were doing, and they needed a coach. 

“Okay, Rose. We need to score,” Nathan said when Rose came up to bat. “You got it?”

“I got it,” she promised. She hoped she had it anyway. She hadn’t played cricket in years, she wasn’t even sure she’d be able to hit the ball. 

She took a deep breath as the pitcher wound up. The crack of the bat against the ball nearly made her jump out of her skin, but then she was running the bases. Donna and Nathan were cheering her on, Donna jumping up and down and screaming like a banshee. Rose put on a burst of speed and tried to make it. 

Her foot hit the plate and without thinking she launched herself into Nathan’s arms. He was laughing and cheering, and he spun her around as he caught her tightly against him. Then the moment was over and Nathan was setting her on her feet. Rose noticed a bit of pink in his cheeks, and wondered if he could see any in her own. 

“Nice work, Rose!” Donna cried, pulling her into a hug. Rose laughed and allowed herself to be pulled away from Nathan.

#

Rose was glad for a long break for lunch before it was time to get ready. She desperately needed a shower after all the running around they’d done, so she ate quickly and then excused herself. When she finished, Nathan was already in one of the guest cottages, getting ready with the other men. 

The women had the run of the master suite, so Rose gathered her outfit and met them there. 

“Rose, that dress is gorgeous!” Martha said as she hung it up. 

“Thanks. It was a bit of a splurge, but I had to have it,” Rose said. Donna hummed approvingly. 

They all chatted easily as their hair and make-up was done. Rose insisted that she didn’t need the professionals they’d brought in for the wedding party, but Donna and Martha were just as stubborn. So she found herself in a chair while one did her make-up and one did her hair. 

Nathan appeared at the door when it was nearly time for the ceremony to start. His eyes swept the room, nearly passing by Rose before snapping back to her.

“Blimey, you look beautiful,” he said, his jaw going a bit slack as his eyes roamed over her. Rose felt heat rise in her cheeks. He looked incredible in his gray morning coat and white cravat.

“Thank you,” she murmured, swaying a bit. Nathan reached for her hand, lifting it above her head and encouraging her into a little twirl. The skirt of her dress flared a bit as she spun, drawing Nathan’s eyes to her toned legs. 

He quickly cleared his throat. 

“Ladies, it’s time,” he said, addressing the rest of the women. “Rose, may I escort you to your seat?” 

Rose curtsied and took his elbow. 

The ceremony was elegant and romantic. Martha and Nigel wrote their own vows, and they brought tears to Rose’s eyes. The sun glinting off her own engagement ring suddenly caught her attention. She tried to picture herself standing up there with Mickey, saying the kinds of things Nigel and Martha shared with each other in their vows, and she simply drew a blank. That kind of love and emotion just wasn’t how she and Mickey were together. They loved each other, she knew that (or at least thought she did), but something about putting it into words, the idea of _Mickey_ putting feelings into words, just didn’t seem likely. The only vows she could imagine making to Mickey were the standard ones during a quick ceremony at the register’s office. 

Rose was brought back to the present when she heard the vicar give Nigel permission to kiss the bride as the crowd cheered and clapped. 

The ceremony broke off into the reception, and Nathan came to collect her. 

“I won’t have to abandon you again,” Nathan promised, leading her into the large white tent. Fairy lights twinkled beneath the canopy and lanterns flickered on the tables, surrounded by flowers. There was a dance floor at the front of the tent. 

The reception, like every other event that weekend, was lively. Dinner was delicious and conversation easy. It was easy to see how happy and in love Martha and Nigel were, how well they fit together. 

“Care to dance?” Nathan asked, leaning in to whisper into her ear. His breath puffed hot against her neck and she shivered. 

“I’d love to,” Rose said, giving him her brightest smile. He took her hand and led her to the dance floor. The music was slow and sultry, nothing Mickey would have ever danced to. Nathan spun her as they reached the floor, and then pulled her into his arms. Though he was a good deal taller than her, they fit together perfectly, her head tucked neatly beneath his chin and her hand clasped tightly in his. 

“Thank you, for coming with me,” Nathan said, looking down at her with warm blue eyes. 

“Thank you for inviting me. I’ve had a wonderful time,” she said. Nathan chuckled.

“Even though you’ve suddenly found yourself engaged to two different men?” Nathan teased. Rose laughed too, pressing her forehead into his chest. 

“I’m sorry, they just seemed so excited and it was all I could think to do,” Rose explained. Nathan shook his head, still smiling. 

“It’s fine, really. I’ll make up a reason for breaking it off before Sylvia gets too far ahead of herself.”

For a moment, Rose wished he wouldn’t have to have that conversation. Being surrounded by the love and acceptance of his crazy, boisterous, wonderful family for the weekend had been a new and welcome experience. Her own mother was wonderful, but it was really just the two of them, so Rose had never gotten to experience this kind of family gathering. It was wonderful, and she would miss it when it ended. 

As they danced and talked, Rose took the opportunity to study Nathan’s face. His ears were too big, his features not conventionally good looking, but it all came together to form a handsome picture. She couldn’t imagine that he’d have any real trouble finding someone to love, and she wondered why he didn’t seem to want to settle down. She didn’t feel like she could ask, though. Their camaraderie was still too new. 

Utensils began tapping on stemware, the sound trickling through the tent over the music. Nigel and Martha shared a chaste kiss, then turned to the crowd.

“Every time we have to kiss, so do all the rest of the couples!” Nigel insisted. Glasses clinked again and Martha and Nigel shared another kiss. Couples around the room followed their lead. Rose looked around the room, uneasy. 

“Oh come on you two!” Donna teased. Rose met Nathan’s gaze and held it for a moment. 

“Sorry,” he whispered. Then he swooped in and pressed a firm, quick kiss to her lips. Rose gasped, but he pulled away just as quickly. Her lips tingled. 

“Would’ve been suspect if we refused,” Nathan murmured. Rose nodded, but she couldn’t ignore the racing of her heart. 

#

On Sunday morning, Nathan and Rose said their goodbyes. Sylvia and Donna made Rose promise that she would see them soon, which sent a spike of pain and guilt through Rose’s heart. She might never see them again, and the loss hurt. Alton gave her a warm hug and chucked her under the chin. 

“Thank you for being such wonderful hosts this weekend,” Rose said, squeezing Sylvia’s hand. “You throw a good wedding.”

“And we’ll be throwing yours soon enough,” Sylvia said. Rose tried to smile.

“We’ve got to get going, love,” Nathan said, touching her back gently. Rose said another quick goodbye and followed Nathan to the car. 

“Oh, I hate lying,” Rose groaned, leaning her forehead against the window as Nathan drove away from the house. Nathan reached over and squeezed her knee quickly. 

“It will be over soon, and they’ll be fine.” Rose truly hoped he was right. 

Despite her discomfort with their circumstances, the drive back to London was leagues better than the drive to Wiltshire. She and Nathan spoke easily, talking of anything and everything. It went by quickly, too quickly, and before Rose was ready for the weekend to be well and truly over, Nathan was pulling up outside her flat. 

“Rose,” Nathan said, taking her hand in both of his. “Thank you for what you did this weekend. I mean it.”

“You don’t have to keep thankin’ me,” Rose said, laughing. “It’s not like I took a bullet for you.”

Something dark flickered in Nathan’s eyes, but it was gone before she could read anything into it. “I know. I just wanted to say it one more time.”

“Well, you’re welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nathan got out of the car and set Rose’s luggage on the sidewalk. Then, he drew her into a tight hug. “See you tomorrow, Rose.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I keep meaning to say this, and then I keep forgetting when I post a chapter: I really do love Mickey. I think his character arc on the show was incredible, and I love the man he grew into. That said, I sometimes can't resist bashing him a bit in my fics. So just know it comes from a place of love, even if it doesn't seem like it. 
> 
> Also, I got a new job!!! I'm so excited, because my current job is terrible. I'm working ahead on this fic as much as I can, but if it's a bit longer between updates, my new job is the reason why.

Chapter 4

Rose’s alarm blared far too early on Monday morning. She’d barely gotten any sleep. Mickey had been sulky and overly clingy all day Sunday, and stormed out to the pub when she told him to knock it off. Then he’d returned, well past midnight, and they’d had a screaming row before she managed to fall into a fitful sleep. She’d woken again when Mickey came to bed, grumbling about the uncomfortable couch. He’d never slept on the couch after a fight. If it was bad enough that Rose truly couldn’t stand to share a bed with him, she would have to be the one to sleep on the couch. It was never bad enough. 

Mickey snored deeply beside her, not bothered by the sound of her alarm in the slightest. She groaned and pulled herself from the bed. She stood under the shower for much longer than she should have, and put on as little make up as she felt she could get away with to make up the time. She made coffee and ate a banana, then gathered her things for the day, stuffing them into her bag. By the time she left, Mickey was still sleeping. She rolled her eyes. If he was late for work, it was on his own head, she wasn’t his mother. 

Rose brightened considerably when she reached Noble House. Most of the boys were awake, readying themselves for the school day or apprenticeships. Rose slipped into her office to drop off her bag, and then continued down the hall to Nathan’s. 

“Good morning,” she said, tapping on the door. Nathan was hunched over something on his desk, but sat back when he heard her voice. He offered her an easy smile and Rose breathed a sigh of relief. She’d worried that the relationship they’d formed over the weekend would make their real relationship awkward, or strained. 

“Morning,” he said as his eyes flicked over her. She felt herself blushing, and she wasn’t quite sure why. “You alright? You look tired.”

“Fine,” she promised, waving a hand. “Just didn’t sleep well.”

They chatted for a few more minutes, mixing business and personal seamlessly, and then Rose returned to her own office and settled in to make some progress on her to-do list. She worked diligently through the morning, until Nathan rapped on her door. 

“Fancy chips?” he asked, holding up a bag. Rose inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of fried potatoes and grease. She moaned a bit, and blushed when Nathan’s eyes went dark at the sound. 

“God yes,” she breathed. He chuckled and sat down in the chair opposite her desk, dropping the bag in front of her. She dug into the bag, dividing up the portions, and then popped a chip into her mouth. It was steaming hot and covered in vinegar, just the way she liked. “Nigel and Martha set off okay?”

“They landed in Majorca last night. I don’t think we’ll hear from them again until they get back,” Nathan said. Rose couldn’t be sure why, if it was his words, or his tone, or something else entirely, but she immediately pictured him in Majorca. With her. On white sandy beaches, spreading sun cream on her back…his hands sliding around to her stomach, drifting up.

She coughed and shifted in her seat, trying to rid her mind of the visions. She chalked it up to her lack of sleep. 

“Staying for dinner?” Nathan asked. Most nights, the boys were responsible for feeding themselves, but Monday and Friday nights, they were required to be at “family dinner.” Usually Nathan cooked, which had been a shock the first few times she’d seen it. 

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Want some help? My last session is at five.”

Nathan stared at her a moment, a small smile playing at his lips. Then he nodded. “Thanks.”

They finished their chips and Nathan went back to his office. As the boys trickled back from school and training, Rose started individual counseling sessions. They were sometimes emotionally draining, but she loved her work.  
She was gathering materials for her group therapy session when the phone rang.

“This is Rose,” she answered, only half paying attention. 

“Hey babe,” Mickey said. Rose sighed. “I’m sorry about last night. Can I order takeaway tonight and make it up to you?” 

His voice dropped low and Rose knew exactly what he meant by that. She rubbed her forehead. She didn’t want to fight, again, but Mickey knew she stayed for dinner on Mondays, and she really didn’t feel up for sex with him. 

“Micks, you know I stay for family dinner on Mondays. I’m sorry. Maybe tomorrow?”

For a long moment, Mickey didn’t say anything. Then he took a deep breath and Rose knew she was in for a fight. 

“Come on, Rose! You spend all your time at that bloody place!”

“It’s my job, Mickey,” Rose reminded him. He snorted. 

“I don’t spend half as much time at the shop.” Rose bit back an ugly retort and Mickey raged on. “It’s that bloke, isn’t it? You’re staying so you can be with him!”

“Of course I’m not, don’t be stupid!” Rose shouted, even though a small part of her said yes. “Mickey, these dinners are part of my job. The boys here need to trust me, they need to know that I’m invested and that I care about them. These dinners are a big part of that!”

They continued to argue, Mickey berating her, accusing her of not caring about him or their life. Rose ground her teeth, resisting the urge to stoop to his level. She massaged her temple with her free hand. The argument was giving her a headache. 

A shadow in front of her drew her eyes and she looked up to find Nathan in the doorway. 

“Mickey, I have to go,” she finally said. She hung up without waiting for his reply. 

“Alright?” Nathan asked, his hands in his pockets and his eyebrows knit together. Rose took a deep breath, held it while she counted to three, and blew it out. 

“Fine.”

“Mickey being an idiot?”

“How’d you guess?” Rose quipped. “He’s feeling neglected, I guess.”

“You do important work here, Rose, and you’re good at it. If he doesn’t support that, then he’s truly an idiot,” Nathan said. Rose smiled gratefully, and when Nathan opened his arms for a hug, she moved into them without hesitation.

His arms wrapped tightly around her and Rose smiled into his chest, he really gave fantastic hugs. He seemed content to hold her, and she was content to let him, until a couple of the boys ran by and whistled at them.

“No running!” Nathan shouted, releasing her. Rose bit her lip against a laugh. 

“Thanks for that,” she said, gathering her things for the group session. Nathan just nodded, his gaze lingering as she headed towards the living room

#

Rose worried that her fight with Mickey would keep her from enjoying family dinner, but she was wrong. Helping Nathan prepare the meal had left her laughing and relaxed, and the boys of the house were in high spirits. 

“Got yourself a girlfriend, eh Mr. Noble?” Tommy, one of the older boys, said to Nathan as they ate. 

“What’re you talking about?” Nathan asked, glowering. Tommy snickered and elbowed Reggie beside him. 

“You and Ms. Tyler, getting cozy in her office,” Reggie explained. Rose giggled and Nathan rolled his eyes. 

“It was a friendly hug,” he insisted, sneaking a look at Rose. She nodded. 

“Friendly hug. That’s it,” she agreed. The boys continued to tease them throughout the meal. Rose worried that Nathan’s patience would run out, but he took it all with good humor. By the time dinner wound down, it was late and dark. 

“Let me drive you home,” Nathan offered, once all the boys were settled with homework or free time. Rose chewed on her lip. It would get her home faster, and she wouldn’t have to walk to get the bus. The downside was that Mickey would almost certainly see, and she didn’t feel like yet another row. _Oh sod Mickey_ , she thought. _I’m exhausted and the bus will take forever._

“Okay, yeah,” she agreed, gathering her things. 

The boys whistled and cheered as Nathan held the door open and followed her outside. Rose couldn’t help but laugh. They drove through town to Rose’s flat, and she noticed that every light was blazing. Mickey’s shadow stood in one of the windows, peeking out through the curtains. She sighed. 

“Mickey the Idiot spying?” Nathan asked. 

“Something like that.” She got out of the car, expecting Nathan to drive away as soon as the door was shut. He waited though, until she waved at him from the bottom of the stairs. 

Rose trudged up the stairs as Nathan drove away, and opened the door to the flat to find Mickey sulking on the couch, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Hey,” she said. 

“Have fun at family dinner,” he sneered. Rose rolled her eyes.

“You really should be thanking him for giving me a ride home. Safer than the bus.”

“Or he could leave well enough alone,” Mickey said.

“Mickey…” Rose started. Then she decided she couldn’t be bothered. She dropped her bag by the door and shook her head. “I’m going to bed.”

#

The weeks passed quickly. Rose and Nathan became a well-oiled machine at Noble House, working together seamlessly and managing to build a solid friendship along the way. He was quickly turning into her best mate. She tried to ignore the fact that her fantasies sometimes revolved around him, and that she was pretty sure he’d taking to smelling her hair when they hugged. Which was often. The boys of the house had taken to calling them Mom and Dad. 

Things were going well, and Rose had nearly forgotten about the lie they’d told his family until Donna showed up. Rose and Nathan were in his office, discussing arrangements for some of the boys who would soon be leaving Noble House, when Donna barged in. 

“Nathan Noble!” she shouted, making them both jump. Donna laughed. “You can’t keep hiding Rose away from the rest of us. Come on, sister, I’m taking you to lunch.”

“Donna, really,” Nathan sputtered, casting a panicked glance at Rose. 

“It’s okay,” Rose said. Donna crowed. “We’re nearly done here, and I’m famished anyway.”

“But…” Nathan started. 

“You’re welcome to join us,” Donna said. “So long as you know we’ll be discussing you, and wedding dresses, and honeymoon options.”

The tips of Nathan’s ears went pink, and Rose thought for a moment how cute he looked when he was embarrassed. 

“Fine, get out of my sight,” he said, sighing as he waved them away. 

Together, Rose and Donna walked a few blocks to a trendy little neighborhood with a café, and took a table in the back.

“So, Martha and I want to host a wedding shower for you,” Donna said after a few minutes of small talk. Rose nearly choked on her sandwich.

“Please don’t,” she gasped. A look of hurt flashed over Donna’s face and Rose mentally smacked herself. “I just mean…that’s lovely, and I would really like that, but we haven’t even set a date yet.”

“Why is that, exactly?” Donna asked. Rose cleared her throat and looked anywhere but at Donna. 

“I think…well it happened so fast. I’m a bit convinced he’ll change his mind still,” Rose said. She hoped that this would lay the groundwork for their eventual “break-up.” 

“Please, you’re the best thing that ever happened to him,” Donna said, rolling her eyes. Rose frowned. 

“How do you know?”

“I just do. I see how he looks at you, Rose. And he’s been so much happier lately. I can hear it in his voice every time I talk to him, even if he doesn’t say a word about you.” Rose felt her cheeks flush. 

“He talks about me?” 

Donna laughed. “Every other word is your name.”

They moved on with a promise that Donna would hold off on the shower until Rose and Nathan had set a date for the wedding. They talked about everything else under the sun, and by the time they made their way back to Noble House, Rose’s sides hurt from laughing so much. Nathan eyed them warily as they returned. 

“What did she tell you?” he asked Rose. 

“Nothing, your secrets are still safe,” she said. 

“For now,” Donna added. 

She left after making Rose promise to call her later. The rest of the day passed quickly, and after work Nathan walked her to the bus stop, as had quickly become their tradition. 

“Sorry about my sister,” Nathan said as they walked. 

“Oh I love Donna,” Rose said, waving a hand at him. 

“I’m going to remind you that you said so,” Nathan promised. At the bus stop, Nathan pulled her into a tight hug before heading back to the house. 

When Rose got back to the flat, Mickey was already there, watching telly on the couch. He smiled up at her as she came inside. 

“Hey babe. Good day?” Rose dropped down next to him on the couch, lifting her feet into his lap. He began massaging them and Rose groaned, letting her head fall back against the armrest. 

“Yeah. One of the boys got a scholarship to university. He was so excited to tell us. And Nathan was just like a proud dad…” she said. She rattled on about her day, missing the way Mickey tensed every time she mentioned Nathan. His hands massaged up her leg until he twisted to lay beside her. He ran a hand under her shirt and kissed her. 

“Let’s go to bed,” he said, palming her breast. Rose shifted, grimacing. 

“I can’t. I promised Nathan I would…”

Mickey jumped from the couch, throwing up his hands. “Can we stop talking about bloody Nathan for two bloody minutes!”

“I wasn’t…”

“It’s bad enough when you abandon me to stay late at that place with him, but he’s not even bloody here and he’s keeping me from shagging my girlfriend! Do you know how long it’s been since we had sex, Rose?”  
Rose ground her teeth together, fury burning in her chest. 

“Nathan has nothing to do with that,” she hissed. “He is my boss. I have work to do tonight.”

“You always have work to do!”

“Is your problem with Nathan, or my job?” Rose asked. 

“Whichever one is keeping you from spending time with me!”

Rose shook her head, grabbing her keys and her purse and shoving her feet into her shoes. “I can’t be around you right now. I’ll be at my mum’s.”

He didn’t even bother calling after her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is infidelity in this chapter, but I mean what I say that this is NOT a fic about an affair, and Rose is NOT cheating on Mickey with Nathan. 
> 
> Also, here be smut. 
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Chapter 5

Nathan sighed. Rose was staring off into space as she dried the dishes leftover from family dinner. She’d been in a strange mood all week, quiet and withdrawn, and he hated it. He missed her sunny smile. He tried not to dwell on why.

“You okay?” he asked. Rose looked up at him, her brow furrowed. 

“What?”

“You okay? You seem a bit down.”

Rose shook her head and gave him a small smile, not nearly as brilliant as her usual grin. “I’m fine.”

They continued washing and drying the dishes for a few minutes, Nathan wracking his brain for ways to snap Rose out of her dark mood. He watched the soapy water swirling around the sink as he washed, and remembered more than one water fight with Nigel and Donna in their youth. He grinned.

Rose jumped when the first flecks of soapy water hit her. 

“Oi!” she cried, wiping the droplets from her cheek. Nathan was grinning like one of the boys, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Rose just shook her head and turned back to drying. A moment later, more water splashed onto her skin. “Nathan!”

He chuckled and Rose dunked her hand into the foamy water, flinging a handful at Nathan, soaking the front of his shirt. The smile dropped from his face and Rose took a step back. 

“I’m sorry…” she started. But Nathan had cupped both hands beneath the water and sent it all towards her. Rose shrieked, jumping out of the way. She wasn’t quick enough, though, and it caught her in the chest, running down so that her shirt was soaked as well. She shivered and fought the urge to cross her arms. Her thin shirt was nearly see through, especially with her scarlet bra pressing against the fabric. Nathan’s eyes flicked down and Rose felt heat rise in her cheeks. 

While Nathan was distracted, Rose lunged for the sprayer and turned it on him. He shouted and ducked, then came for her, trying to wrestle it out of her hands. Rose laughed as she spun away from him, accidentally spraying herself in the process. They tussled, soaking each other to the bone, until Nathan managed to twist her arms behind her back, trapping her against his chest. 

“Gotcha,” he said, laughing breathlessly. Rose swallowed hard. All she could feel was the chilled air against her back, and her breasts pressed tight to Nathan’s chest. Heat sparked low in her belly and she licked her lips.

The movement drew Nathan’s gaze. Rose could’ve sworn she saw his eyes darken, and he shifted against her. He leaned in slowly, his eyes still on her lips, and gently bumped his nose against hers. Rose could feel his breath hot on her face. Part of her badly wanted to push up on her toes, close the distance and kiss him. Her eyes fluttered closed as he tipped his face closer.

“Wait...” she whispered, cursing herself. Nathan stilled, but Rose didn’t open her eyes. She couldn’t bear it. “I…I’m engaged.”

She dropped the sprayer and twisted out of Nathan’s grip. He let her go immediately, rubbing at his forehead. 

“Right. Course. Sorry, just got…”

“Carried away,” Rose finished. 

“Yeah.”

Rose stepped toward him, reaching out and then thinking better of it. She chewed her thumbnail, just for something to do with her hands. “I’m sorry.”

Nathan nodded, looking a bit dejected. Rose didn’t know how to explain that it wasn’t him, that she truly did want him, but couldn’t bring herself to betray Mickey like that. 

“I understand, Rose,” Nathan said, like he was reading her mind. “And you’ve nothing to be sorry for.”

Rose nodded, wrapping her arms around herself to ward off the chill that was rapidly setting in. Nathan frowned and reached for the jumper he’d draped over a chair earlier. 

“Put it on, you’re freezing,” he said. Rose bit her lip and slipped the wine colored jumper over her head. It fit her like a dress, hanging partway down her thighs and swallowing her hands. 

“Thanks.” She tried not to breathe in the smell of Nathan, but it was impossible. She gave in, breathing deeply. “I, uh…I’d better go.”

“Sure,” Nathan said, his voice gruff. “See you tomorrow.”

#

Instead of going back to her flat and dealing with Mickey, Rose went to her cousin Jack’s flat. It was risky not calling to warn him, Jack was more likely to have company than not, and that company was likely to be naked, but she needed to talk to someone. Her mother would only make Rose feel badly for wanting Nathan, but she could always count on Jack to listen and advise. 

“Rosie!” Jack cried when he opened the door. He swept her into a bear hug, lifting her off her feet and pressing a kiss to her hair. 

“You’re not busy, are you?” Rose asked, cautiously peeking around the flat. 

“Nah. Ianto’s in the shower, but you’re not interrupting anything. Wine?” Jack asked with a charming grin. Rose agreed, and followed him into the kitchen, lifting herself onto one of the bar stools. Jack handed her the glass with a flourish.

“Sorry I didn’t call first,” Rose said, trailing her finger around the base of the glass.

“Not a problem. Want to tell me what’s going on?” Jack sat on the stool next to Rose, bumping her knee with his. 

“It’s…going to sound so stupid.”

“Not a chance,” Jack insisted. 

Rose took a deep breath, trying to think of what to say. She told him about the wedding, about bonding with Nathan and his family, and about her frustrations with Mickey. Then she told him about the near kiss.

“I wanted him to kiss me, Jack,” Rose groaned, hiding her face in her hands. 

“Do you like him? Or do you just want him, physically?” Jack asked. 

“Do I like him? God, Jack, I…” Rose groaned again. “He’s like no one I’ve ever met. He’s brilliant, but not cocky about it. And he’s kind, and he cares so much about the boys at the house. His family is wealthy, like, really wealthy, and you’d never know it because he’s so grounded.” She kept talking about Nathan, about the ways he made her laugh, made her feel important. She smiled recalling the cricket game, and lifted her fingers to her lips when she remembered the kiss at the reception.

“Oh Rosie,” Jack sighed. “You’re way past liking him.”

“No, I...” Rose trailed off. Jack was right, even if she didn’t want to admit it. She’d never felt the way she felt for Nathan, not even for Mickey. “I’m falling in love with him?”

“Sounds like it,” Jack agreed. 

“What about Mickey?” Rose asked. He might aggravate her to no end, but she’d known him her whole life. He’d been there when her life went to hell because of Jimmy Stone, helped her pick up the pieces. 

“Oh Rose, he’s a good bloke, deep down, but he’s not right for you. You’ll just make each other miserable.”

“You didn’t think to mention this when he asked me to marry him?” Rose asked, feeling a bit betrayed. Jack just held up his hands. 

“Jackie threatened to slap me if I said a word.” Rose chuckled. Her mother’s slaps were infamous around the estate, she couldn’t blame Jack for being afraid. 

“What do I do?”

“Up to you,” Jack said. “You could put Nathan out of your mind, try to make things work with Mickey. Or you could break up with Mickey and see how things play out with Nathan.”

Rose sighed. Mickey was a good guy, deep down. She glanced at the ring on her finger, remembering the promise they’d made to each other. It didn’t matter that they were both pissed when they made it, Rose took it seriously. She couldn’t just throw him over for the first bloke who made her blush. 

“I owe it to Mickey to try again, I think. Nathan is just a temporary thing.” It hurt her to say the words, but she was resolute in her decision. 

Jack eyed her warily. “If you’re sure. You know I’m always here to talk, right?”

“Yeah. Thanks Jack.”

#

Nathan sat in his chair, surrounded by a dark office, nursing his favorite whiskey. Soft jazz played in the background. How could he have been so stupid? Kissing Rose at Nigel’s wedding had been one thing, brought on by necessity, but to try kissing her at Noble House? He was beyond stupid. He wouldn’t be shocked if she sued him for sexual harassment. He deserved it. 

He was a bloody idiot. She was engaged! He tried to think of all the reasons he shouldn’t want her. She was too young, he was too grumpy…but his mind kept turning back to that tongue touched smile she had, or the way she lit up when one of the boys made progress. How kind she’d been to go to Nigel’s wedding with him, even before she knew him very well.

Nathan took a deep swallow of whiskey, noting how similar the color in his glass was to the color of Rose’s eyes. He knew what he was feeling. It had been nearly a decade since he’d felt it, but he still knew exactly what it was. 

He was falling for her. He’d have to keep his distance at Noble House, keep himself from any more near misses. He didn’t want Rose to be uncomfortable at work, and he absolutely didn’t want her to quit. The boys sleeping upstairs didn’t deserve to suffer for his stupidity. 

#

Rose had sent Mickey a text that she would be at Jack’s until late, possibly all night, but after their conversation she decided to go home to her flat. If she was going to make a go of it with Mickey, she was going to start sooner rather than later. He was right that she’d been neglecting him ever since starting at Noble House, and while she didn’t regret her career, she knew she would have to find a balance. 

There was loud music pouring from the flat as she walked up the stairs. She figured Mickey was upset, though he’d seemed fine when she texted. Somewhere in the building a couple of was screaming at each other, and somewhere else a couple was having loud sex, so maybe that was why he’d turned the music up. 

Rose unlocked the door and winced as the full force of the music hit her. She couldn’t even yell over it. She dropped her keys and her purse by the door and then went into the living room to turn the stereo down enough so she could think. The shouts of pleasure got a little louder.

She wandered through the flat towards their bedroom. The squeak of bedsprings filtered through the wall and she cocked her head. Something about it was off, it didn’t sound like it was coming from the neighbors. 

“Oh fuck, Micks!” Rose paused, mid-step, when she heard the shriek from her bedroom. It wasn’t possible. 

It took her brain a long minute to process the sight in front of her when she pushed open the bedroom door. Tricia Delaney was enthusiastically riding Mickey in the bed he shared with Rose. Her moans and cries echoed off the walls, and the sound of their flesh slapping together made Rose want to vomit.

Rose felt a flash of white hot rage, but it was quickly replaced by ice. She grabbed the door knob, pulling it back towards her before slamming it open again, the crash of it against the wall announcing her presence. Tricia screamed and dove for a sheet to cover herself while Mickey scrambled out of the bed with no shame for his nakedness. 

“Rose!” he shouted. 

“Get out of my flat,” Rose hissed. Mickey shook his head.

“It’s my…”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Rose snapped. She looked at Tricia. “Get out of my flat!”

Awkward silence descended as Tricia raced to pull on her clothing and then hurried from the room. Mickey casually pulled on a pair of jogging bottoms.

“Look…” he started to say, but Rose interrupted him. 

“What? What could you possibly have to say to explain yourself?” 

“Didn’t think you’d care, honestly,” Mickey said, shrugging. He avoided meeting her gaze. 

“You didn’t think I’d CARE that my fiancé is fucking someone else IN OUR BED?” she cried. Mickey shrugged again. It made Rose want to slap him. 

“It’s not like we’ve shagged lately, and you’re always off with Nathan.”

Rose felt her jaw drop. She couldn’t believe he was rationalizing cheating on her. She felt her cheeks go hot. 

“Yeah, because we’re working! I’ve not been shagging him!”

“Could have fooled me,” Mickey grumbled. Rose was at a loss. She had no idea what else to say. As she stood in the middle of the bedroom she’d shared with Mickey for the last few years, she realized she didn’t even know him anymore. And he didn’t know her. 

“When I come back, all of your things had better be gone,” she said. She turned to leave, curiously not feeling the least bit broken hearted. Angry, yes, but not sad.

“Where are you going?” Mickey called after her. 

“None of your business.”

She scooped up her keys and her purse, and slammed the door behind her. She didn’t know where she wanted to go. She knew she didn’t want to go to her mother’s. She didn’t need a lecture. She could go to Jack’s, but she’d only just left, and she didn’t want to be around him and his boyfriend. 

She wandered for a while before she realized where her feet were taking her. The bus stop that would take her to Noble House. She smiled. 

#

Nathan was working late, finishing the stack of paperwork in his office, when something made him pause. The boys were supposed to be in bed, but there was something…he cocked his head and listened hard. After a moment, the rhythmic sounds of someone hitting the punching bag that hung in the rec room. He pulled open the door, ready to send whatever boy was breaking curfew back to his room, when he spotted Rose’s small figure attacking the punching back. Her strikes were sloppy, and she was still in her work clothes, but she looked like she could go twelve rounds with Ali. 

“I didn’t know you were a boxer,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. Rose jumped, but didn’t stop her assault. 

“I didn’t either, but after the night I had, I figured better the bag than someone else. It’s not as messy.”

“Want to talk about it?” he asked. 

“Not really.” She continued to throw punch after punch at the bag. 

Nathan just waited. 

“Mickey was shagging a chav from the estate when I got home. In our bed. We’re done.”

Nathan’s eyebrows nearly jumped off his forehead as his eyes widened in shock, and he let out a low whistle. “Mickey the Idiot, indeed.”

“Yeah,” Rose grunted. 

“Well, I’ll be in the office when you’re done beating the stuffing out of that bag. Coe down and we can talk if you want. Or not. Up to you.”

Another grunt was her only reply. Nathan shrugged and left the recreation center to finish his paperwork.

After he left, Rose continued to wail on the bag as her mind churned. Her thoughts kept returning to her reaction to Mickey’s betrayal, and the conversation she’d had earlier with Jack. Back and forth, back and forth her mind spun, until it felt like she was spiraling out of control. Finally, with one last resounding thwack to the bag, she stopped, her mind made up. Her choice clear, Rose left the rec center. 

#

Nathan jumped when the door to his office banged open. Rose stormed in looking absolutely feral. Her face was flushed, her hair a mess from her fight with the punching bag and her eyes were bright and wild. He stood to meet her, unsure what was happening. 

“Rose…”

Rose cut him off. “I choose not talking.”

She threw herself into his arms and kissed him. Nathan froze for a moment, unsure of what to think, and then melted into it, his arms going around her waist and lifting her from the floor. Her lips were soft beneath his, her teeth sharp as she nipped at him. He traced the seam of her lips with his tongue and nearly groaned when she opened her mouth to him. 

Rose turned them and lifted herself onto his desk, never once breaking their kiss. She gripped his hips, pulling him between her legs as one hand skated beneath his jumper. 

“Are you sure…” Nathan gasped, pulling away. He drank in the sight of her, her cheeks flushed and her chest heaving and felt his cock stiffen. 

“Very sure,” she said. She used the opportunity to pull his jumper over his head and then raked her nails down his newly exposed chest. Nathan groaned and leaned in to taste her neck. He couldn’t help it as his tongue flicked out, laving the spot where her neck and shoulder met before biting down. Rose gasped. 

“What…” he had so many questions, things he wanted to know, things he wanted to say, but Rose kissed the words from his lips. 

“Shag now, talk later,” she panted. 

Nathan didn’t need to be told twice. He yanked her shirt over her head, groaning when he was met with the sight of burgundy satin against her creamy white skin. He lifted both hands to palm her breasts, feeling the weight of them. Then he pulled the cups down, exposing her nipples, and flicked his thumb over them. Rose grunted and went to work on his belt. 

“You’re gorgeous,” he said. Batting her hands away, he dropped to his knees and pulled her closer, his eyes on hers as he drew a nipple into his mouth. Rose shuddered and gripped the back of his head, holding him to her. He swirled his tongue around the hard peak and then bit down gently. 

“Nathan,” she gasped. Her hands roamed his neck and shoulders, scraping down his back. Nathan skimmed a hand down her stomach and her thigh until he could edge under her skirt. It was long and tight and didn’t leave him much room. He growled against her breast and tugged on her nipple with teeth before standing up and working his hands under her bum, lifting her to her feet.

“Off,” he demanded, pointing at the offensive skirt. 

Rose grinned as she slowly lowered the zip at her back and shimmied out of the skirt. Nathan thought it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Taking in every detail of the tiny panties she wore, burgundy to match the bra, he shoved his trousers and pants down, nearly tripping as he toed off his boots. 

Rose’s eyes tracked down to his now rock hard cock. Nathan took himself in hand, stroking lightly as she watched, licking her lips. She discarded her bra and knickers and lifted herself back onto the desk, spreading her legs and arching an eyebrow. Nathan stalked towards her, dropping to his knees once again and tugging her bum to the very edge of the desk. 

“I want to taste you,” he said, nipping at the inside of her thigh. Rose nodded, reaching up to tweak her nipples. Nathan grinned as he leaned in, pressing a kiss to her center before running his tongue up the length of her slit. She blew out a slow breath and leaned back, resting on her elbow. 

He worked her up slowly, adding a finger inside of her, and then a second. He curled them as he tapped at her clit with his tongue and she keened, her hips jerking. He grinned and pinned her down with a hand splayed across her belly. 

“Nathan,” she whined. She raked her fingers through what little hair he had and then tugged him up by his ears. “Inside.”

“Oh yes,” he breathed. He quickly rolled on a condom and levered himself over her, knocking folders from his desk, kissing her as he pushed inside. Rose moaned into his mouth and arched beneath him, her fingernails digging into his shoulders. 

Nathan stilled, holding himself inside her for a moment, and pressed kisses to her face and neck. Rose circled her hips and Nathan grunted, his hips stuttering. She pushed at his pelvis, urging him to move, and Nathan drew out of her slowly.

“Hold on,” he said. Rose reached her arms behind her head, curling her fingers around the edge of the desk, lifting her breasts higher. Nathan groaned and thrust hard, then leaned down to suck at her nipple as he drove into her. 

“Fuck,” Rose grunted. Nathan’s desk rattled beneath them. Nathan felt his orgasm burning at the base of his spine, spreading like fire through his cock. 

“How close?” he asked. 

“Close,” she gasped. Nathan reached between them to rub at her clit, and Rose gasped. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” she chanted. She clenched around him, her back bowing off the desk, and she keened loudly as she came. Nathan let go, thrusting wildly a few more times before he stiffened, spending himself inside her. 

He collapsed against her, breathing hard. “That was brilliant.”

Rose laughed and stroked the back of his neck. “It was.”

“Want to continue not talking in the staff bedroom?” Nathan waggled his eyebrows at her. Rose laughed again and wrapped her arms around his neck and he stood, carrying her a short way down the hall. 

“Bring it on.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I'm so sorry this took so long. It wasn't even that I didn't have it written. I did. I just haven't had a spared minute to work on putting it up. Work has been absolutely crazy. But! Summer reading is over now, so I should have a smidge more time. 
> 
> Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Chapter 6

Rose was momentarily disoriented when she woke. A large, hard body was spooned up against her, an arm draped over her stomach. Mickey hated to cuddle during the night, always said it made him too hot to sleep. 

And then she remembered. She remembered finding Mickey and Tricia in bed and storming out. She remembered Nathan finding her while she attempted to work out her frustrations on a punching bag. And she remembered shagging him on his desk, and then again in the staff bedroom. She blushed. 

Nathan groaned behind her, his grip tightening as he shifted and Rose bit back a gasp when she felt him hard against the small of her back. She held her breath, waiting to see if he was waking up, but he wasn’t. 

Should she sneak out while he was asleep? She didn’t regret what they’d done, not for a second, but it was awfully fast. Rose wanted to be with him, but she also wanted to get to know him without Mickey hanging over their heads. She wanted the chance to fall for him, free of guilt.

“Morning,” Nathan mumbled quietly, brushing his thumb over her stomach. Rose jumped, startled, and Nathan chuckled. “Sorry.”

“’S okay,” she said. She waited to see what he would do. 

“Sleep all right?” 

“Yeah.” Rose rolled onto her back to look at him. Mickey would have been trying to seduce her by now, but Nathan had made no such move. He smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss before rolling out of bed and padding towards the en-suite. Rose stared at his arse as he walked, unashamed of his own nakedness. 

While he was in the en-suite, Rose sat up, pulling the sheet over her chest and tucking it beneath her arms. She debated getting dressed, but some of her clothes were still in Nathan’s office and she didn’t fancy tip-toeing down the hall half-naked. Some of the boys were early risers. Nathan emerged wearing jeans and a green jumper that nearly made Rose’s mouth water. 

“Do you want a shower?” Nathan asked. They had shared one last night, so she didn’t really feel the need. She shook her head.

“No, but…could you get my clothes from your office? I hate to wear the same thing as yesterday, but I don’t…I don’t want to go back to the flat just yet.” Nathan frowned and then went to the small chest of drawers in the room. 

“I keep a few spare things here. It will be too big on you, but you can wear it today if you want.” Nathan handed her black button down shirt. She slipped it on, evaluating whether or not she could wear it all day. It fell to mid-thigh, and if she rolled the sleeves she could wear it as a dress.

“Have you got a belt or anything?” Rose asked. Nathan dug through the drawers and handed her one. She cinched it around her waist and then looked in the mirror. It would work in a pinch. She ran her fingers through her hair, combing out the tangles and fluffing it a little. She would be make-up free for the day, but she supposed it didn’t really matter. 

“You look…” Nathan started, his voice gravelly. Rose was taken aback by the want in his eyes. 

“Thanks,” she said, feeling a blush heat her cheeks. 

Nathan stepped closer, reaching a hand out to settle on her hip. He leaned in and paused. “Can I?”

Rose nodded, and Nathan kissed her. His lips slid over hers as he pulled her flush against him, and Rose grabbed at his arms to stay upright. She opened to him when his tongue traced the seam of her lips and moaned when his tongue touched hers. 

It was a lazy kiss, nothing like the frantic passion of the night before, and Rose felt warmth pooling in her belly. She wanted him, badly.

She ended the kiss and stepped back. 

“Sorry,” Nathan gasped. “I shouldn’t…sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Rose said. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“Are you…do you regret last night?” Nathan asked. Rose’s eyes snapped up to his. He looked so vulnerable, in a way she hadn’t seen before. She reached out to touch his cheek.

“No, I don’t,” she promised. Nathan blew out a breath. “I do think we should take this slow, though. Whatever this is.”

Nathan grinned. “Slow it is.”

#

Rose was surprised by how easily she and Nathan fell back into a working relationship. There was a little less tension, and he was a little freer with casual touches and lingering looks, but otherwise things were the same. She’d expected some measure of awkwardness, but it just wasn’t there. 

She was between counselling sessions when Nathan stuck his head inside her office and rapped gently on the door. 

“Hey,” she said, offering him a smile. 

“Hey.” He leaned inside the doorway. “I’d like to take you out this weekend.”

“Like a date?” Rose asked, surprised. She wasn’t sure why, they’d agreed to taking it slow, but she hadn’t really expected him to properly ask her out. 

“Like a date,” he confirmed. Rose blushed again. She felt like she was sixteen again, giggling over Jimmy Stone with Shireen and Kendra. She tried not to smile and failed miserably. 

“Okay.” Nathan shoved his hands into his pockets and smiled. 

“Good. Friday after work?”

Rose nodded, and added it to her date book, just barely resisting the urge to draw a little heart next to the entry. 

The week passed quickly. When she finally returned to the flat the next night, all traces of Mickey were gone. He’d even had the decency to strip the sheets off the bed. Rose would have to remember to burn them. She spent the evenings rearranging the furniture and décor, adding some feminine touches that Mickey had always vetoed. She had her mum over to dinner and told her the news. She’d expected Jackie to push her towards forgiving Mickey, but instead she wanted to hunt him down and give him a smack. 

When it was finally Friday, Rose chose her outfit with care. Fridays were casual, though Nathan wore some measure of casual nearly every day, so Rose chose dark wash skinny jeans, flats, and a floral blouse. She put a little extra effort into her hair and make-up than she usually might on a Friday and then set off for Noble House. 

She barely had a chance to speak to Nathan before the end of the day on Friday. When she finally appeared at his office after work, he smiled. 

“So where are we going?” Rose asked. Nathan’s smiled dropped and his eyes went wide. 

“I, uh…well we could go…” he huffed and scrubbed his hand over his head. Rose laughed. 

“You didn’t have a plan, did you?” Rose asked. The tips of Nathan’s ears went pink, and he shook his head. 

“No, sorry.”

“There’s a café I like, on Exmouth Market. Fancy that?” Rose asked. Nathan shrugged. 

“Lady’s choice,” he said.

They took Nathan’s car, though Rose had him park a few streets away so they could enjoy the warmth of the evening. As they strolled, Nathan casually took her hand, and Rose smiled. It was perfect. Their hands felt made for each other. 

“What’s this place called?” Nathan asked. Rose smiled. 

“Café Kick.” She loved going there, loved the relaxed atmosphere and the opportunity to let loose with a little table football. She wanted to see Nathan there.

There was already a crowd when they arrived at the small café. There was a match on the telly, and other people were mingling with friends or playing table football. Nathan winced a bit at the volume, but waved her towards a couple of open seats at the bar. 

The both ordered a drink, and Rose swiveled a bit closer to him. 

“I feel like I’ve hardly seen you all week,” Nathan mused as they waited for the bartender to serve them. Rose nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. Nathan’s eyes flicked to the spot where her teeth met flesh, and they darkened a bit. Rose’s breath hitched. 

“It’s been busy. End of term for the boys means they need more of my attention. And I’ve been rushing out after to…redecorate my flat.” Nathan nodded as she spoke. It was nice to be with someone who understood the demands of her job, and in fact experienced it even more than she did. 

“Will you get another flatmate?” Nathan asked. 

“No, it’s just got the one bedroom. And I can afford it by myself. Mi…my last flatmate wasn’t entirely reliable about paying his half of the bills, so I made sure we moved into a place that I could afford if he ever skipped out.” She felt silly skipping over Mickey’s name since Nathan knew all about it, but she didn’t want him hanging over her first official date with Nathan. 

The bartender brought their drinks and they sat talking and drinking for a little while. It was nice to be able to relax with him, to not feel guilty or worry about his family seeing through their ruse. During their second drink, a game table opened and Rose jumped from her stool to claim it before anyone else could. Nathan followed her with a chuckle. 

“You play?” Rose asked. Nathan shrugged.

“Some, a long time ago.”

“I’ll go easy on you then,” Rose said, winking at him. He laughed and shook his head, but didn’t challenge her. 

Rose really did go easy on him as they played the first couple of games, just until she warmed up. He won once, she won the next time. Their third game was tied, with only one point left. Rose spun the handle hard, the little feet of her men hitting the ball straight towards the goal.

“That’s cheating!” Nathan hollered, stopping it with his goalie before hitting it back and scoring. He crowed a bit, making Rose laugh. 

“Okay,” she said. “I’m done going easy on you. Let’s make this a little more interesting, yeah?”

“Interesting how?” Nathan asked, his eyes narrowed. Rose grinned, her tongue touching the corner of her mouth. Nathan’s eye followed the movement. 

“If I win, you have to cook me dinner one night. And family dinner at Noble House doesn’t count,” she challenged. 

“My cooking is no prize, but if that’s what you want…” he teased.

Rose was delighted to learn that Nathan was just as competitive as she. They played in silence, only occasionally shouting in victory or defeat, until Rose took the lead. It was close, but she won by two. She jumped and cheered.

“You, sir, owe me dinner,” she crowed. Nathan pulled her in for a victory kiss.

Rose gasped against his lips as the force of it bent her backwards, but Nathan’s arm across her back kept her standing. She gripped his arms as his tongue twined around hers, melting into him. 

“Dinner,” he agreed, pulling away abruptly. When the blood stopped rushing in her ears, Rose could hear a few of the patrons whistling at them. She felt her cheeks go warm.

It was the best date she’d ever been on.

#

“Good morning,” Rose said as she tapped at Nathan’s office door. He sat back from the file in front of him and offered her a brilliant smile.

“Good morning.” He held out a hand to her and she went around the desk to kiss him. They’d agreed to keep things quiet at work, so she only indulged for a moment before sitting across from him and spreading out her files. She was there for a reason. 

“Graham is going to transition out to his own flat,” Nathan told her. Rose nodded. She knew the boy wanted to be on his own, and she felt he was ready.

“I’ll start working with him on that, make sure he’s ready.”

They continued updating each other about the boys in the home, including a new boy that would be joining them soon. After a bit, one of the boys knocked on the door.

“Thomas,” Nathan greeted him. Thomas hovered in the doorway, wringing his hands together. 

“Could I…could I talk to you both?” Thomas asked. Nathan gestured to the open chair next to Rose and Thomas sank into it. Rose turned to face him, sharing a concerned glance with Nathan. 

“What’s going on, Thomas?” Rose encouraged. He looked between them and took a shaking breath.

“I uh…so I’ve been going out with Lou for a bit,” Thomas explained. Rose nodded. Half of Thomas’ sessions with her were spent waxing poetic about the girl who’d stolen his heart. “I think…well she thinks…we think she might be pregnant.”

Rose felt like the air got sucked out of the room. To be a teen dad would set Thomas so far back, and he’d made wonderful progress at Noble House. She bit her lip, deferring to Nathan for the moment. She and Thomas could discuss options in his next session. 

“How could you be so stupid?” Nathan snapped. Rose winced. “I have always been open with all of you boys. Told you to talk to me if you had any questions, or if you needed anything. There are condoms in every bathroom for Christ’s sake!”

Nathan was roaring now, and Rose felt badly for Thomas. 

“Do you have any idea what a baby could do to your life? How disruptive it will be? Your life will no longer be your own. Are you ready to give all that up? Was a quick leg over worth it? I hope so, because your life as you know it is over.”

Rose wasn’t sure she’d put it in such dire terms, but she essentially agreed with him. She’d never really wanted kids for exactly those reasons. She thought she might someday, a bit later in life, but she’d never felt any strong urge to be a mother and give up so much of her freedom. 

She turned her attention back to Thomas and noticed tears shining in the boy’s eyes. 

“Nathan,” she said gently, interrupting him. He turned his stormy glare on her, and she just raised an eyebrow. He deflated so subtly she was certain no one else would have caught it. “Thomas, Nathan isn’t wrong. This is a big deal. You have options, though, and once you find out for sure whether or not Lou is pregnant, we will talk about them, okay? You can even bring Lou to a session, if you want, and we’ll all three discuss it together.”

“Thanks, Rose. And I’m sorry, Nathan.” 

Nathan just shook his head, and gestured to the door. Rose waited until Thomas was gone before she spoke again.

“You were a little harsh with him, don’t you think?” she asked. Nathan shook his head.

“No. It was stupid. I’ve no illusions that these boys are celibate, and I give them every opportunity to be safe. There’s absolutely no reason for them to get into this situation,” Nathan said. 

“Condoms don’t always work, you know,” she reminded him.

“They do if you bloody well use them right. You think what I said was wrong?” Nathan challenged. Rose shook her head.

“No, just the way you said it. It took a lot for Thomas to come to us, and now the rest of the boys will hear and be less likely to come to you when they have similar problems.”

“I’m not here to be their friend, Rose. You’re the one they talk to if they want a calm, understanding ear. I’m the one they look to for structure. They know that I have high expectations, I lay them out from day one,” Nathan said. He slumped back into his chair, rubbing at his forehead. “I’ve never dealt with this before.”

Rose went to him, rubbing lightly at his shoulder. Nathan reached up and curled his fingers around her elbow, just for the contact. She bent and pressed a kiss to his head. 

“I’ve got a session in a few minutes,” Rose whispered. She wanted badly to sink into his lap and just hug him. He hummed. 

“Want to go for chips tonight?” Nathan asked. Rose smiled.

“Yeah. I’d love chips.”


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

“Sylvia has summoned us,” Nathan said, leaning in the doorway to Rose’s office. She looked up at him, confusion knitting her brow. 

“For what?”

“It’s Dad’s birthday. There’s to be a big party, and we are to be there.” Nathan frowned like a petulant child, and Rose laughed. 

“The whole weekend?” Rose asked. Nathan nodded.

“Can you get away? Or did you have plans with your mum?”

“I can get away.” Rose shifted in her seat a bit. “What, uh, what will we tell them?” 

Nathan frowned and Rose wiggled her bare ring finger at him. She’d taken to not wearing it after the break-up with Mickey. Seeing as it was her gran’s and Mickey had never even properly given it to her, it shouldn’t really matter, but she thought her brain would adjust to the change better if she took it off. 

“Oh. Well, nothing I suppose. Go on as we have. We may not be engaged but we are together, we can sort it later. My dad loves his birthday, I don’t want to spoil it,” Nathan said. 

“All right. We’ll go on as we have.” Rose made a mental note to get the ring from her jewelry box before they left for the weekend. “When do we leave?” 

“Midday Friday. I’ve got Matthew and David to cover the afternoon here.”

They finished making their plans and then Nathan left her with a quick kiss. Rose didn’t have any appointments coming up, so she called her mum. 

“Rose! How are you, love?” 

“Great, Mum. I don’t have long but I wanted to let you know I’ll be in Wiltshire this weekend,” Rose said. 

“Wiltshire? What for?”

“There’s a birthday party for Nathan’s dad.”

“Again? You’re spending every spare moment with that man and his family! I never see you anymore, Rose!” Jackie groused. Rose sighed. Jackie was exaggerating. This would only be Rose’s second trip to Wiltshire, and the only person from Nathan’s family that Rose had seen in between was Donna, and even that had only happened twice.

“That’s not true, Mum. You see me plenty.”

“I don’t care. You’re spending entirely too much time with him for this to be a fling. I want to meet him.”

“Mum, I don’t think…”

“Rose Marion Tyler you are to bring that man to the flat for dinner next weekend. No excuses.” Jackie’s voice had taken on the same tone it did when Rose had once thought of leaving school for bloody Jimmy Stone. It was the kind of tone unique to parents, that could make even the strongest willed child bend to the rules. 

Rose sighed.

“Yes, Mum.”

“Good! Now, you be careful this weekend and call me later. Love you.”

“Love you too, Mum.” Rose hung up the phone and wondered when to tell Nathan about dinner with Jackie Tyler. 

#

The drive to Wiltshire was very different the second time around. For one thing, Rose didn’t have any guilt about lying so completely or leaving Mickey behind. Not to mention she and Nathan knew each other much better. Instead of scrambling for things to talk about, they enjoyed companionable silence, their fingers twined together between them. She did wonder if anyone would notice that they were a lot freer with kisses and touches than they had been, but she hoped that no one would really notice. 

The house was still just as breathtakingly grand as Rose remembered it, and she couldn’t help but drink in every detail as they pulled in the drive. What would it be like, to actually live in such a large space every day? 

Nathan squeezed her hand. “Still feel like you don’t belong?”

“Nah,” Rose said with a smile. “You lot aren’t half so posh as I expected.”

“Good.” Nathan leaned over and stole a kiss before getting out of the car and collecting their bags from the boot. 

“Nathan, my boy!” Alton shouted as he came jogging down the front steps, throwing his arms wide. Nathan and his father hugged before Alton made his way over to Rose, folding her into a much gentler hug and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Welcome back, love. Glad to see this one hasn’t scared you off yet.”

“More likely I’ll be the one scaring him off eventually,” Rose teased.

Alton took Rose’s bag and led them into the house. “Sylvia’s got you both in Nathan’s old room again.”

“Just don’t tell my mother,” Rose said. She winked at Nathan. Sharing a room would be infinitely better this time. Though they were still taking things slowly, or at least attempting too, Rose was looking forward to sleeping with Nathan curled around her.

The tips of Nathan’s ears went pink, and Rose couldn’t resist stopping him for a quick kiss. She rose up on her toes to brush her lips lightly against his, before dropping back down with a wink and turning to Alton. 

“Nathan, take the bags upstairs. Rose, everyone else is in the kitchen.” Alton led her into the kitchen, where indeed everyone was gathered. Sylvia was at the stove checking on a roast that smelled divine. Martha and Donna were huddled in the corner whispering about something, and Nigel and Lee were pouring drinks at the counter. 

“Rose!” The chorus of cheers that followed her name spread warmth through Rose’s entire body. Oh, she loved the Noble family. 

“A drink, Rose?” Nigel asked, offering her the same trademark grin Nathan so often wore. 

“Please. Whatever concoction you’re making is fine.”

“Oh that’s dangerous, Rose,” Martha said. “It will either be frightful or so delicious it will knock you on your arse.”

“Good thing I don’t have anywhere to be then, aye?” Rose finished greeting everyone and then settled in with Martha and Donna.

“You two set a date yet?” Donna asked. Rose knew she and Martha were getting anxious to throw her a shower, and she felt bad for lying, again. She and Nathan were so new, there was no telling where it would lead. “Not yet. We’re just sort of enjoying being engaged,” Rose said. Martha’s eyebrows arched.

“Really?” she asked. “For Nigel and I that was just the pause on the way to being married. It was this horrible limbo where we were more than just together but less than married. I hated it. We both did, couldn’t wait to get down the aisle. We’d have done it a lot sooner except we promised Sylvia she could give us a big wedding.”

“I dunno,” Donna said. “I liked the being engaged bit, but only because everyone threw us parties along the way.”

Rose laughed. She knew that they meant well. “You both dated for a lot longer than Nathan and I, though. We’re still getting used to each other, not to mention the idea of forever. I promise, as soon as we set a date, you’ll be the first to know.”

The family talked and drank until Sylvia announced that dinner was ready, and then they talked and drank some more. Rose tried to take her time finishing each drink, but by the time everyone said goodnight, she was pleasantly drunk. She wobbled a bit on her feet as Nathan followed her up the stairs, a steadying hand pressed to her back. 

At the top of the stairs, Rose turned to him. He was a few steps behind her, their height even for the first time, and Rose leaned in for a kiss. Nathan immediately climbed the remaining steps, pressing himself against her and pushing his tongue between her lips. Rose moaned, digging her nails into his shoulders. 

“You’re pissed,” Nathan said against her lips.

“Am not,” Rose said, swaying against him and pressing their bodies even closer together. 

“Oi, you two!” Donna shouted from the bottom of the stairs. “Get a room!”

“We’re about to,” Nathan said over his shoulder, making Rose giggle and press her face into his chest. He urged Rose down the hall to his bedroom. 

Rose sat down on the edge of the mattress, biting her lip as she watched Nathan move around the room. He shucked his jumper, left in just a vest top, and hung it neatly in the wardrobe. 

“Nathan,” she said as she kicked off her shoes. 

“Hmm?”

“Come ‘ere.”

Nathan moved to stand before her and Rose reached out, threading her fingers through his belt loops. She looked up at him and tugged him just a bit closer, then let her hands drift down his thighs. They were like iron beneath her touch.

“I thought you wanted to take things slow?” Nathan asked, his voice strangled.

“I did,” she agreed. “I do. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do some stuff.”

She palmed him through his jeans, delighting in the way he shivered. He was half hard already, rapidly swelling beneath her touch. Nathan lifted his hand to her cheek, brushing his thumb over her lips. 

“Rose, you don’t have to.” She smiled at him.

“I want to.” She flicked open the button and eased the zip down carefully. Nathan groaned at the pressure, his fists clenching at his sides. Rose leaned back to look up at him, dying to run her tongue along the line of his throat. She waited until he opened his eyes before she pointed to his jeans. “Off, and lay down.”

Nathan removed his clothes and lay down as Rose stood and quickly shucked her trousers and shirt. Then she scrambled onto the bed, climbing over Nathan’s body until she reached his lips. She kissed him, her tongue curling around his, and pressed herself into him. His hands went to her waist and he groaned, arching into her. 

Rose peppered kisses across his face and down his neck, stopping only to nip at the corded muscle straining there. She continued her path down his chest, scraping her teeth over his nipples and scratching her nails down his sides as she kissed just above his belly button. His cock lay heavy against his stomach.

She took him in hand, stroking him gently as she watched him. Nathan’s eyes fluttered shut and he bit his lip, trembling with the effort to stay still. Rose thought he was gorgeous.

When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she leaned down and swirled her tongue around his tip. Nathan yelped, his hips jerking beneath her as she took him into her mouth. Rose took him in as far as she could before dragging the flat of her tongue up his length. When she gently sucked on the head of his cock, Nathan groaned and twisted his fingers in her hair. She hummed around him, relishing in the tug against her scalp, just on the right side of pain. 

She worked quickly, alternating deep suction with quick swirls of her tongue, until Nathan was squirming beneath her. His hands skimmed absently over her body, trying to touch any part of her he could, until he tugged at her hair again, until Rose released him with a pop. 

“What?”

“I want to taste you,” he growled. “Take your knickers off.”

“But I’m not finished with you yet,” she protested, shimmying out of her knickers anyway. Nathan offered her a filthy smirk. 

“You don’t have to be.” He urged her to straddle his face, her sex hovering above his mouth. Rose shivered. He’d gone down on her before, but this seemed so much more intimate as she leaned forward to lick the length of his shaft. Mickey and Jimmy had never been interested in this position. If she was going to blow them, they were going to enjoy it, not return the favor at the same time. If they ever did at all.

The moment Nathan’s tongue traced the length of her slit, she moaned. Nathan’s hips twitched and his tongue tapped at her clit. She suddenly appreciated the position, the way they could spur each other on. Nathan’s hands gripped her thighs as his tongue swirled inside of her, driving her quickly towards release. Rose released him on a groan, pressing her forehead into his thigh. 

“Shh,” Nathan said, chuckling, his breath ghosting over her sensitive flesh. “They’ll hear.”

Rose nipped at his thigh and then redoubled her efforts. She wanted him to come first. His fingers tightened against her skin, his moans and growls sending the most wonderful vibrations straight through her core. 

“Fuck, Rose,” he gasped. He came with a sharp cry and Rose swallowed every bit of him, working him down gently. She sat up, letting her hands play over Nathan’s stomach as he sucked hard at her clit. Her orgasm barreled through her and she bit her lip to muffle her cries. 

Nathan caressed her gently as she rolled to the side, chest heaving as she gasped for breath. After a moment she twisted towards the head of the bed so that she could snuggle up to him. 

“Blimey,” she breathed. Nathan chuckled and pressed a kiss to her hair. 

“Sleep well, my Rose.”

#

Waking up with Nathan was Heaven. Rose wanted to spend the whole day cuddled in bed, but it was Alton’s birthday, so they got up at a reasonable hour, showered (separately), and readied themselves for the party. 

Much like the wedding, Alton’s birthday celebration was a large, lively affair. People from all over came, employees, family, friends. It was overwhelming as Nathan introduced Rose around to the people he deemed important, and she forgot most of their names almost instantly. There were just so many. 

The party lasted for much of the day, but by the time the sun was setting it was back to just the immediate family plus Rose, sitting around a table littered with empty plates and empty glasses, trading stories. Rose was curled into Nathan’s side, enjoying the opportunity to just be close to him, laughing at his family’s stories and antics. 

“Rose, did you know your fiancé is a war hero?” Donna asked, her eyes shining with pride. Rose frowned as Nathan tense beside her. 

“No! He’s never said.”

“It’s nothing,” Nathan grumbled. “Someone else go.”

“Nothing? You saved that boy, Nathan. He’d be dead if it weren’t for you. When that land mine…”

“Donna, stop it,” Nathan snapped. He shoved away from the table and stormed off across the yard, towards the stables. Rose frowned after him. 

“Donna, you know better,” Alton admonished quietly. 

“That’s the one story he lets us tell!” Donna argued. 

Rose stood up, still staring after Nathan. “Excuse me.”

She followed quickly, Alton and Donna still arguing quietly behind her. She found Nathan sitting on a stone bench in the gardens, surrounded by brilliantly blooming flowers. His hands gripped the edge of the bench so tightly she thought the concrete might crumble beneath his fingers. 

Rose sat down beside him, leaving him as much space as she could on the small bench, and settled a hand on his knee. 

“What happened back there?” she asked. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Nathan said. The muscles in his jaw twitched, and Rose knew that to press him would be the worst thing she could do. Instead, she leaned in and pressed a firm, lingering kiss to his cheek. Nathan blew out a rough breath, and she felt him relax beside her. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” she promised.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Rose took a deep breath as Nathan raised his hand to knock on the door. He chuckled and Rose frowned at him. 

“What?”

“Why’re you so nervous? She’s your mum,” Nathan said. 

“Exactly. How are you not nervous?” Rose twisted her hands together and Nathan reached over, threading his fingers through hers. He gave them a reassuring squeeze just as Jackie opened the door.

There would be no mistaking that Rose and Jackie Tyler were related, though some might wonder if they were sisters, rather than mother and daughter. Nathan fought a wince when he realized that he was probably closer to Jackie’s age than Rose’s. 

Jackie made a show of looking him up and down, appraising his worth. She arched an eyebrow and then looked at Rose. 

“He’s too old for you.”

She disappeared into the flat and Rose sighed, pulling Nathan along behind her. They followed Jackie into the living room, where she had the makings for tea set out already. She poured them each a cup and set about making hers to her own liking. Rose and Nathan sank onto the couch, and Nathan started to doctor Rose’s tea. Jackie watched with shrewd eyes as he made the tea exactly the way Rose liked it and handed the mug to her before picking up his own. 

“Mum, this is Nathan,” Rose said. “Nathan, this is my mum Jackie.”

Jackie and Nathan nodded to each other and Rose shifted. The silence between them was unnerving, but she should have expected it. She knew that Jackie was trying to make Nathan uncomfortable enough to start babbling, and she knew that Nathan never really felt compelled to fill the silence. 

“What do you see in my daughter?” Jackie finally asked. 

“Mum!” 

“Hush, Rose,” Jackie said. “I want to know. Is she just a pretty young thing that makes you feel better about your age? Does it feed your ego to take a woman like her to bed?”

Rose felt her cheeks go hot and she buried her face in her hands. Nathan settled a hand on her knee, squeezing gently, and met the question head on.

“I understand that my age is concerning to you, Jackie. Honestly it’s concerning to me too. I often wonder if Rose wouldn’t be better off with someone closer to her age, someone who is at the same stage of life. But I’m not with her just to stroke my ego. I’m with Rose because she’s bright, and compassionate, and because…” he trailed off, unsure he wanted to voice exactly what he was feeling. But Rose had turned to him with wide eyes, and he couldn’t leave her hanging.   
“Because she makes me better.”

Rose offered him a watery smile and then leaned in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. Jackie watched them a moment while she sipped her tea, and then nodded. 

“Well then, who’s hungry?”

#

Rose was sniffling back tears when Nathan appeared in her office door. His eyes went wide with alarm but she just stood and went to hug him. He gave the best hugs, really, firm enough to make her feel safe and cared for, but not crushing. 

“What’s wrong?” he whispered into her hair. 

“Just an emotional session,” she promised. Rose really tried not to let her sessions with the boys get the best of her, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped. Nathan pressed a kiss to her head and held her while she got herself under control. 

After a few minutes, she pulled herself gently from his embrace. “So, what did you need?”

“I was just going to see if you wanted to go to the British Museum on Saturday.”

Rose was surprised. In her entire life, she’d never been to the British Museum, not even on a school trip. She’d always wanted to go, but none of her friends were interested, Mickey thought his time was better spent at the pub watching footie, and Rose had never felt comfortable going alone. Nathan couldn’t have known that, though.

“I’d love to.”

“Pick you up at one?” They agreed and Nathan kissed her quickly before heading back to his own office. 

The week passed by quickly. Rose was caught up in dealing with the boys of the house, who seemed to need more of her attention in the summer months, and Nathan was dealing with several boys aging out of the house and several coming in. It was a time of transition for everyone, and it meant that Rose barely had time to breathe during the day. 

Finally Saturday arrived. Rose was excited, she loved museums, loved to see things from other times and places. She could almost imagine herself there. She dressed simply, in jeans and a strappy top with a cardigan in case the museum was cold, and she was ready long before one. She kept herself busy by tiding her flat, though it wasn’t really messy to begin with.

When Nathan knocked at her door, she practically lunged to open it. Nathan chuckled when she stumbled a bit, and caught her up in a hug and a lingering kiss. Rose nearly thought “sod the museum,” but they were still taking things sort of slow and she really wanted to go. 

“Ready?” Nathan asked, holding out his hand. Rose threaded her fingers through his and let him lead the way. 

“What made you think of this?” Rose asked as they passed through the Roman columns towards the entrance. 

“There’s an exhibit on I want to see, Sunken Cities, and I thought you might enjoy it too.” Rose had seen the adverts for the exhibit, something about Egypt’s lost worlds, and thought it sounded a bit like they’d discovered Atlantis. 

They explored bits of the museum first, stopping by free exhibits on Britain’s exploration of Sicily, Indian textiles, and courtship and marriage in Iran.   
Occasionally Nathan opened up with stories about his travels with the army, when he was inspired or reminded by an artifact. He told her about taking leave in Sicily when he was stationed in Cyprus, exploring the ancient Greek temples in Capo d’Orlando and tasting wine like he hadn’t ever before or since. 

“There’s nothing like drinking wine in Italy,” he said as they browsed the artifacts. Rose tightened her hold on his hand. 

“It sounds amazing,” she said, a little wistful. She would likely never travel the way Nathan had. She might get to take a trip somewhere once or twice, but she wanted to see…everything. Instead she would have to content herself with museums. 

“I’ll take you,” Nathan said, and pressed a kiss to her hair. Rose grinned up at him. 

Nathan told more stories as the explored, about being stationed in the Middle East and the shenanigans he and someone called the Brigadier got into. He skirted some details, trailed off in certain places that made Rose certain she was getting a highly edited version of the story. His face darkened as he spoke until he was brooding and Rose wondered what things he might have seen. 

He brightened again as they walked through the Indian textiles, and he spoke about travelling to India to celebrate Holi while he was stationed in Nepal. His eyes shined as he told her about the festival, about the bonfires the night before, and the raucous celebrations the day of. Rose could hardly imagine Nathan celebrating in such a way, being doused in a rainbow of colors.

“Will you take me there, too?” Rose asked, allowing herself the fantasy of travelling the world with Nathan. 

“Oh, you’d love it Rose. It’s fantastic. It would be my honor to take you.”

They spent hours inside the museum, finally making their way to the Sunken Cities exhibit that Nathan wanted to see. When they were finished, it was evening and Rose was starving. Her stomach growled loudly, making Nathan laugh.

“Let’s get you some food, ‘eh? Where’d you like to go?”

Rose thought on it for a moment, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, before she smiled up at him. “Remember when you lost the bet at Café Kick? I think I’d like to collect.”

She wondered if Nathan would balk at the idea of actually cooking her dinner, but he didn’t. 

“We’ll have to stop at the market on the way back. What do you fancy?”

“Surprise me.”

They stopped at the market, loading up on wine and everything Nathan needed to make some sort seafood dish, then continued on to her flat. She was a bit disappointed that he wasn’t taking her back to his, but then decided it didn’t really matter. 

He cooked her a Sicilian dish, inspired by their trip to the museum, and Rose had to admit that it was delicious. They ate their fill and then Nathan told her to settle on the couch and pick a movie while he poured the wine. 

“It’s not quite the same as the wine I had in Sicily, but it’s as close as we’re likely to get in London,” he said, handing her a glass as he settled in beside her. 

They shifted about until Rose was reclined against Nathan’s chest. His arms were snug around her waist, and she hummed happily as they started the movie. They kissed and caressed as they watched the film, but were very careful not to get carried away, and eventually Rose began to drowse against Nathan’s chest.

After a couple of movies, Nathan shifted off the couch and lifted Rose into his arms. 

“Let’s get you to bed, eh?” He settled her on the bed and removed her shoes and jeans before tucking her in and pressing a feather light kiss to her lips. “Goodnight, my Rose.”

Rose snaked a hand out to catch him by the wrist. 

“Stay,” she whispered. Nathan shook his head. 

“I can’t, love. Sleep. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Please,” Rose said, well aware she sounded desperate. “We’ve shared a bed before.”

“Aye, and it was lovely. I wish I could stay, Rose, but I can’t. Not tonight.”

Rose let go of his wrist, and wished she didn’t feel so rejected. 

#

The next few weeks continued in the same manner. The days were busy and long, leaving Nathan and Rose with barely enough energy to have dinner together if they managed it at all. Weekends included some excursion or another, followed by a relaxing evening at one of their flats. Sometimes they spent the night together, sometimes Nathan refused. They were still taking things slowly, which was frustrating Rose. They snogged, a lot, and sometimes they lost control and got each other off with their hands or mouths, but they still hadn’t properly shagged. Rose was stressed out from work and wanting Nathan, wound more tightly than she had been in a long time. 

Apparently Donna noticed during their occasional chats, because she insisted that Rose join her, Martha, and Sylvia for a spa day.

“Oh, Donna, I couldn’t even begin to afford it,” Rose said, rubbing at her forehead. Donna made a sound somewhere between a snort and a scoff.

“Sylvia’s paying. For all of us. Martha and I couldn’t afford it either. Please come, Rose. You need the relaxation and we want to see you without my brother hovering around.”

Rose sighed. She really could use some pampering. “Yeah, all right.”

“Great! The car will pick you up Saturday morning. It’ll be a full day of being waited on hand and foot.”

When Saturday morning rolled around, Rose found herself genuinely looking forward to the day. A hired car picked her up, Martha, Donna, and Sylvia already inside, and then took them to the Bulgari Hotel. She felt her eyes nearly bulging out of her head when she realized that’s where they were going. Rose had read about the hotel and spa in magazines, but never imagined she’d experience it herself. 

“Thank you, Sylvia,” Rose said as they were led inside. Sylvia hugged her tightly around the shoulders. 

“You’re so welcome, dear. I can’t tell you how glad I am that Nathan’s found you. He’s really so much happier than I’ve ever seen him,” Sylvia said. Then she kissed Rose’s cheek. 

They were separated at first for massages. It was an hour and a half of the most wonderful pampering Rose had ever experienced. Her masseur knew exactly where to be gentle and where to be firm, and by the time they regrouped for facials, Rose felt boneless and happy. The facial was a nice bit of pampering as well, and afterwards Rose felt clean and refreshed. 

“This is Heaven,” Donna groaned as they sank into comfortable lounge chairs for a light lunch. 

“I need this every weekend,” Martha agreed. Rose just hummed in agreement, too relaxed to do anything else. 

“Your mum should join us next time, Rose. I’d like to get to know her before the wedding,” Sylvia said as they nibbled on tea sandwiches and veggies. Rose blanched. She wanted Jackie to know the Noble family more than she wanted almost anything else at the moment. She wanted Jackie to feel wrapped in the same warmth and love that Rose always did when she was with them, but she knew that Jackie would never play along with the fake engagement. She was nothing if not honest to a fault. 

“That would be great. I’ll ask her next time,” Rose said. She just didn’t know what else to say.

After lunch, they indulged in manicures and pedicures. Rose had always loved a good mani/pedi, but she hadn’t gotten one in ages. Half the fun was choosing colors, and she, Donna, and Martha spent long minutes huddled around the nail varnish options, discussing which to use. Rose chose a soft pink for her fingers and a brighter, bolder pink for her toes.

When the driver dropped Rose off at her flat, she collapsed onto the couch, feeling relaxed, happy, and loved. She only hoped they would forgive her when the truth came out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Domestic violence

Chapter 9

Rose hummed as she cuddled into Nathan’s embrace. They were twined together on the sofa, her back pressed to his chest, as they watched a movie. Empty take away containers littered the coffee table. It had been a perfect lazy night in and Rose felt content in a way she never had before, like she could happily spend the rest of her life snuggling on the couch with Nathan. 

Her heart was full to bursting, and she was surprised by the force of her love for Nathan. She did love him, she knew that, more than she had ever loved anyone and she was fairly certain that he felt the same. 

Rose traced three words into the skin of Nathan’s thigh. He hummed appreciatively, but otherwise didn’t react, and Rose thought she might explode if she didn’t say them. Maybe it was too early, maybe it would scare him away, but she had to tell him. Sitting up, she shifted until she was facing him and straddled his thighs. 

She took his face in her hands and he chuckled. 

“Hello,” he said. Rose didn’t smile back or tease him. She took a deep breath. 

“I love you, Nathan.” His mouth dropped open in shock, and she leaned in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. His hands came up to her waist, smoothing over her hips and her back.

“Oh Rose,” he choked out. His eyes shined with tears. “I love you too.”

He pulled her into a vice like hug, pressing kisses to her chest and muttering something over and over. She couldn’t make out the words, but it didn’t matter.   
He loved her too.

Rose shifted herself closer, pressing against him, and pulled him in for a languid kiss. Nathan’s lips opened beneath hers and he took control immediately, not content with Rose’s unhurried exploration. His tongue delved into her mouth, reaching for the farthest corners, seeming intent to claim every bit of her. His hands drifted to her bum, holding her to him as he rocked against her. Rose tore her mouth away from his, gasping. 

“Bedroom,” she breathed. She scrambled off his lap and reached for his hands, pulling him to his feet. Then she shucked her vest top. Nathan’s jaw went slack and Rose smiled. She loved watching him as she bared herself. She reached up to toy with the straps of her bra, letting them slip down her shoulders without unclasping it. Nathan growled and pulled her in for a kiss. 

They stumbled towards the bedroom, shedding articles of clothes along the way. 

“I want to taste every inch of you,” Nathan mumbled into her mouth. “I want to drive you mad. I want to take my time, but I don’t think I can stand to wait.”

“Then don’t,” Rose gasped, as he lifted her and tossed her gently onto the bed. She scrambled into the center as he crawled over her body, his weight settling against her. She groaned as he ground against her pelvis, lifting her hips so that he slid just inside. “Oh, fuck.”

Nathan pulled back, fumbling in the bedside drawer for a condom and hurrying to put it on. When he was done, Rose leaned up for a kiss. She pulled away when he tried to push his tongue between her lips, forcing them to slow things down. She wanted him so badly, her entire body felt like it was on fire, but she wanted to savor it. 

“Rose,” he whined, chasing her lips. She chuckled and then kissed him again, this time licking at the seam of his lips. He moaned happily, opening his mouth to her. His hand skated down her side, over the swell of her hips, up her stomach, and up to cover her breast. She arched into his hand as he tweaked her nipple, drawing it into a stiff peak. The gentle tug sent bolts of pleasure straight to her core, and she didn’t think she could wait another moment for him to be inside her.

She reached down to stroke him, delighting in his deep groan of pleasure, and then shifting them until he was lined up with her core. Nathan paused only a moment before pushing slowly inside her. 

Rose gasped at the feel of him stretching her, filling every inch of her. She’d been dreaming of the sensation since the first time they had sex, that night on his desk, and it was even better than she remembered. When he was buried to the hilt, Rose grabbed at her arse, holding him inside her for a long moment.

“Wait, just…wait,” she breathed. 

“Alright?” Nathan looked down at her, concern knit in his brow. 

Rose blew out a breath and nodded. “Yeah, just feels so good.” 

She clenched around him, making him gasp, and then tilted her hips. He slid deeper.

“Rose, I can’t…”

She dragged her hands up his back, scratching slightly, and caught Nathan’s earlobe between her teeth. “Make love to me, Nathan.”

With a shudder and a sigh, Nathan pulled slowly out of her and then thrust with enough force that the headboard smacked sharply against the wall. Rose grunted with the force and locked her legs around his back. “Yesss.”

“Oh Rose, you feel so good,” Nathan groaned. His thrusts picked up speed, each punctuated by Rose’s cries, until they were both shaking with want of release.   
“Fuck, Rose.”

“Close,” she gasped, writhing beneath him. Nathan grunted and slipped a hand between them, rubbing at her clit in tight circles. Rose’s orgasm slammed through her and she bucked beneath Nathan with a shout. Nathan braced himself above of her and let go, thrusting wildly as he chased his own release. Rose stroked his back, squeezed his arse, and clenched herself around him while muttering her love for him over and over.

“Fuck, Rose!” Nathan pressed his hips tight against hers as he came. 

He collapsed next to her, taking a moment to catch his breath before getting up to dispose of the condom. Then he returned to bed and spooned up behind Rose, who was already cuddled under the covers. She hummed happily as he wrapped an arm around her waist, threading their fingers together. 

Nathan pressed his nose into Rose’s hair, surrounding himself with her scent. 

“I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you,” Rose echoed. 

They spoke in hushed tones, talking about their plans for the next day and dreaming of the future. As they talked, Nathan’s hands began to wander, stroking Rose’s belly, her thighs, and her breasts, making her shiver. Rose reached behind her, closing her fingers around Nathan’s hardening cock. 

“Again?” she asked, stroking him gently. 

Nathan rolled her over him, letting his large hands smooth up her stomach to toy with her nipples as she dug into the bedside drawer for a condom. She rolled it on and stroked him a few times.

“Again,” he rasped. Rose grinned as she sank down onto him.

#

Rose jolted awake. She looked around, disoriented. She’d been having a wonderful dream about being on some beach with Nathan, her grandmother’s ring sparkling on her finger. Returning to the darkness of Nathan’s bedroom left her confused. 

The mattress shifted and she turned to look at Nathan. He was deeply asleep, but his face was scrunched, like he was in pain. A whimper tore its way from his throat. His body jerked with the force of some invisible blow. 

“Nathan,” she whispered. He whined, like a wounded animal, and kicked at the covers. “Nathan!”

Her voice wasn’t reaching him, it couldn’t get past whatever demons he was fighting. He began to thrash in earnest and Rose worried that he would fall off the bed and hurt himself. She reached out and gently brushed her fingers over his arm, but he only flinched. 

“Nathan,” she said loudly. She sat up, getting to her knees, and took him by the shoulders. “Wake up, Nathan.”

He woke up swinging. 

Rose felt pain exploding through her cheek before she heard the sharp smack of his hand against her face. She cried out, tumbling off the bed with the force of the blow and catching her elbow on the bedside table. 

“Rose!” Nathan scrambled off the bed, turning on the light and crouching before her. Rose watched his face go white, his eyes trained on her lip. She reached up and touched it gingerly, hissing at the sting. Her finger came away red. 

“I’m fine,” she said, her voice wobbling with tears. “It’s fine.

“It’s not fine!” Nathan roared. Rose flinched. “I hit you, Rose, it’s not fine.”

“You were asleep, it’s not like you meant it,” Rose insisted. Nathan surged to his feet, shaking his head. 

“Look at you! Your lip is bleeding! You’re cowering in a corner, Rose! I did that to you! It’s not fine!” Nathan was shaking in his anger. His eyes were wild.

“Nathan,” Rose said quickly, getting to her feet. She winced as she put weight on her elbow. 

“You need to go,” Nathan said. 

“What? No!” Rose watched as Nathan stopped seeing her. His eyes went cloudy and she knew he was inside his own head, blowing the whole situation out of proportion. “Nathan, you didn’t hurt me.”

“Go, Rose, right now. I’ll call you a cab. Go home.”

“Nathan, I’m not leaving like this,” Rose insisted. Nathan shook his head, scrubbing his hands over his face.

“You can’t be around me,” he said, his words coming out in a rush. “You can’t. It’s not safe. I’m not safe.”

Rose’s heart broke and tears welled in her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to wrap Nathan in her arms, to comfort him and soothe his fears, but he backed away every time she got close. 

“I’m not leaving, Nathan.” 

His eyes went suddenly clear and hard, and he raced to pull on a jumper and shoes. Rose’s heart dropped into her stomach. 

“Nathan, don’t go.” 

He didn’t say a word as he raced out of the flat. 

#

Rose was on autopilot after Nathan walked out. He’d be back, surely he would. He just needed some time to clear his head. He’d be back and they would go to work together, just like they planned. Working on that assumption, Rose set about cleaning up. She made the bed, because she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, not without Nathan beside her. She went into the bathroom and checked her face. Her lip was split and there was a rapidly darkening bruise on her cheek. She cleaned the cut, hissing when she wiped it with antiseptic. Then she filled an ice pack and held it to her cheek, hoping it would stop some of the swelling. She let her elbow go. It hurt, but not so badly that she needed to do anything about it. 

Then there was nothing left to do but wait. Rose could understand why he was upset, honestly she was shaken by the ordeal too, but it wasn’t like he’d hit her in anger. She knew better than most what an abusive relationship looked like; Jimmy had never outright hit her, but he liked to shove her around and get rough with her. Nathan was nothing like that. His reaction told her as much. He was horrified. Rose forgave him, though. She wasn’t going to hold it against him, he couldn’t control what he did in his sleep.

She waited as the sun came up, shining through the windows. Nathan’s alarm blared from the bedroom and she turned it off. She waited until the last possible moment to get into the shower, hoping he would come back, but he didn’t. She dressed for work feeling hollow, lost. How was it that just twelve hours before, she’d been feeling so happy?

Rose left fifteen minutes after she should have, locking the door behind her. She’d give Nathan his keys once they were at work. She went straight to his office once she reached Noble House, carefully avoiding any of the boys.

Nathan wasn’t there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am sorry about the last chapter, but you had to know it wouldn't be sunshine and roses forever, yeah? We've got a few rough chapters ahead for our favorite pair, but it will be worth it in the end. I promise. (Or at least I hope you think it's worth it, lol).

Chapter 10

Rose had tried to cover her bruise, and it helped a bit, but there was no covering her lip. She knew that the boys would notice it, probably right away, but she couldn’t avoid them and she needed to find Nathan. 

“Anyone seen Nathan?” she asked loudly as she walked into the kitchen.

“He’s sick, we get Daniel instead,” Thomas said. Rose’s heart sank. He hadn’t come home, he’d called in sick to work, which he never did. Was he running away? Rose briefly thought that she’d never see him again, but she pushed it away. She could always call Donna if she had to. 

“Rose, what happened to your face?” Rickey cried, his voice rising above the din. The boys fell silent, all turning to get a good look at her. Rose ducked her head, letting her hair fall over her cheek like a curtain.

“Nothing, Rickey, don’t worry about it,” she insisted. Rickey’s jaw dropped and several of the boys made a strangled noise in their throats. 

“Um, it’s not nothing,” Thomas said. “Are you okay? Who jumped you? How many were there?”

“Where did they jump you? Was it down on Castlehaven?” Rickey asked.

“That’s William Wood’s area,” Michael added. Rose felt the situation quickly spinning out of her control. It warmed her heart that the boys were so worked up on her behalf, but they were getting it all wrong.

“We’ll go down there tonight,” Tony said, resolute. The rest of the boys chorused their agreement. 

“You will do no such thing!” Rose shouted. The boys, unused to her shouting, fell silent and stared at her. 

“But Rose…”

“No buts. I am fine and I will not have you all risking your places here to avenge me, got it? Let it go,” Rose ordered. The boys all nodded. 

Rose went to her office and slumped down in her chair, wishing for the day to be over. She should have known that Nathan wouldn’t be at work, she should have called in sick too and just waited for him at the flat. 

“You really okay?” Daniel asked, leaning in the doorway. Rose hadn’t spent much time with him, but the boys loved him and Nathan trusted him. “I don’t need to call the coppers, do I?”

“No, you don’t,” Rose sighed. “Thank you though. It was just…stupid.”

“Nathan is going to be none too pleased,” Daniel said. Rose snorted. He had no idea. “Did you call him?”

“No, I don’t want to bother him if he’s sick.” 

“You should probably warn him before he sees you. You don’t want him going mental around the boys,” Daniel warned. Rose nodded, rubbing at her forehead. It was going to be the longest day of her life. 

#

At lunch, Rose called Jack and asked if she could go over after work. She needed to talk to someone, and there was no way Jackie would be rational about it. Jack was her best bet. She suffered through the rest of the day, aching and miserable, and then caught the bus to Jack’s flat. 

She knocked on the door, braced for Jack’s reaction, but it was Ianto who opened the door. 

“Oh Rose,” he said quietly. “What happened?” 

Rose sighed. “I’d rather only tell it once, if that’s all right.”Ianto ushered her inside and settled her on the couch before putting tea on. Ianto’s answer to everything was tea. Jack came out of his home office, a brilliant smile on his face. 

“Did I hear Rosie?” The smile melted from his face when he caught sight of her. She’d never known someone to go from jovial to murderous quite as quickly as Jack could. 

“What happened?”

Rose stood up. The day was catching up with her, the physical and emotional pain, the exhaustion, and she felt tears welling in her eyes. 

“Can I just have a cuddle? Until the tea is ready?” Rose felt her lip wobble. Jack immediately softened and drew her into a gentle hug. He tenderly stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Rose couldn’t hold herself together any longer. She sobbed into Jack’s chest, clutching at his back as she let everything out. 

“Shhh, sweet Rose,” Jack murmured. He moved her gently, sitting down on the couch and drawing her into his lap. He rocked her back and forth, murmuring into her ear. 

Ianto brought a tray of tea over and Rose slid off Jack’s lap. She cradled the mug to her chest, soaking in the warmth, and sniffled. 

“Tell us,” Ianto commanded, his voice gentle. 

“Promise you’ll be calm?” Rose asked, eyeing Jack over the rim of her mug. He scowled. 

“Depends on what you tell me.” 

Rose sighed, but launched into her story. She told them about Nathan’s nightmare the first time they shared a room, before she’d ever fallen for him. She told them about his reluctance sometimes to share a bed. And she told them about the way he’d melted down when he woke up to discover he’d hit her. 

“Sounds like he has some pretty serious issues, Rose,” Jack said once she’d finished. 

“Except he doesn’t. He’s normal when he’s awake.”

“Didn’t you say he was in the army?”

“Yes,” Rose said. “But he doesn’t talk about it much.”

“It sounds like he might have PTSD. It’s probably pretty well under control during the day, but there’s nothing he can do about it when he’s asleep,” Jack said, thinking out loud. Rose nodded dumbly. 

“Why won’t he talk to me?”

“He’s mortified, Rose. And scared. I don’t know him, but the way you’ve talked about him, I can imagine that he’s blaming himself. He probably thinks he’s too dangerous to be around you,” Jack explained. Rose knew as much, and hearing it from Jack didn’t make it any easier to swallow. 

She scrubbed her hand over her face, groaning. She was a counselor for God’s sake, she talked to people about their problems for a living, but she couldn’t think how to get Nathan to talk. She was too close to the issue, she knew. Nathan would need help she couldn’t give him. But she could be there for him, if only he would listen to her. 

“If he’s half as in love with you as you are with him, you’ll work it out.”

“I can’t even find him,” Rose whined. Jack huffed out a laugh. 

“You work with him, Rose. He has to come back eventually.”

Rose knew he was right.

Jack and Ianto spent the rest of the night trying to lift Rose’s spirits. They plied her with wine and talked her into playing strip poker. She won, but she had a feeling it was only because Jack always wanted to be naked. Finally she left, her spirits slightly higher than they had been. She took the bus home and fell into a deep, exhausted sleep.

#

The next morning, Rose went to work early. She didn’t think Nathan would call in sick two days in a row, and she wanted to talk to him before the boys were up and about. The light in his office was on, but he wasn’t there, so she started a search of the house. She found him standing in the dark kitchen, his hands braced against the counter and his head bowed. He looked miserable. Everything in her screamed to go to him, to wrap her arms around him and soothe him.   
She didn’t. 

“Nathan.”

He jumped, but he didn’t turn around or acknowledge her. 

“Please, don’t shut me out. You were having a nightmare.”

Nathan's shoulders tensed. He finally turned towards her, but he wouldn’t look her in the eye and he didn’t speak to her. He took a step forward and Rose wondered if he was going to kiss her, but instead he continued walking straight past her. 

“Nathan, please.” Rose felt awful and weak for begging, but she didn’t know what else to do. She was certain that if they didn’t talk then, they never would. She followed him to his office, as resolute to wear him down as he was to avoid her. 

“So you’re never going to speak to me again? We hit one…rough patch and you just run away? We can work through this Nathan, but you can’t just shut me out…”

Nathan walked into his office and did exactly that. 

Rose stared at the door, an inch away from her face, and felt all the fight leave her. It hurt worse than the physical blow, and she suddenly wasn’t sure she could stand to be at Noble House. Knowing it was cowardly, she sent Nathan an email that she was going home for the day, left notes for the boys she had appointments with, and snuck out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. We're in for a rough few chapters. But hang in there. 
> 
> Also, I just wrote the last few words for this fic. It's officially finished. Which means I'm going to try to get back to a faster posting schedule, every two weeks or so. Or maybe once a week, if you guys want that. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, even if it hurts!

Chapter 11

Rose and Nathan fell into an easy rhythm of avoiding each other after that. When one entered a room, the other disappeared. Their weekly meetings, the ones that were essential and Nathan couldn’t get away with cancelling indefinitely, were awkward and stilted. Nathan was miserable. Rose was miserable. The boys were miserable. It was not a happy summer at Noble House.

A week after the accident Rose’s lip was sporting a dark scab and her black eye had turned a nasty green and yellow. She didn’t even bother covering up anymore. She was in the middle of writing up notes on her most recent counselling session when Jackie breezed through the door. 

“Rose, I brought by those papers you wanted…”

Rose froze as she heard her mother’s voice, and ducked her head down. She hadn’t told her mother about the incident, she’d been hoping she wouldn’t have to. 

“Mum, you can’t just drop by,” Rose sighed. She turned around, making a show of shuffling papers and putting things away.

“You said you wanted these as soon as possible. And anyway, don’t take that tone with me little miss.” Jackie prattled on and Rose knew she couldn’t hide any longer. So she took a deep breath and turned around. “Rose…”

“Mum…”

“Oh I’ll kill that man!” Jackie stormed out of Rose’s office, headed for Nathan’s. Rose scrambled to her feet, running after her, hoping to stop Jackie before Nathan ended up with an eye to match hers. But Jackie on a warpath was unstoppable, and she barged into Nathan’s office already shrieking. 

Nathan leapt to his feet, probably out of some instinct for self-preservation. He should have stayed seated, Jackie would have had a harder time climbing over his desk. 

“Mum, stop!” Rose cried. Jackie’s first slap echoed through the office like a shot.

When Nathan did nothing to stop her, Jackie launched herself at him, raining slap after slap on his face, shoulders, and chest. He stood there and took it silently as Rose tried to wrestle her mother away. 

“Mum! Quit it!”

“That bastard hit you, Rose! Don’t lie and tell me he didn’t!”

Rose quickly shut the office door. So far, the boys still believed that Rose had been mugged. She didn’t need them thinking any differently. 

“Yes, mum, but it was an accident.”

“Oh, isn’t that what they all say!” Jackie raged. At least she had stopped hitting him. 

“Yes, but this time it’s true. I woke him from a nightmare, he was disoriented. It’s not his fault!” 

Jackie stared at Rose for a moment, and then turned to Nathan. Her eyes blazed. “Did you hit her?”

“Yes,” Nathan said, his voice sure and clear. He didn’t qualify the statement, or try to defend himself. Jackie raised an eyebrow at Rose. 

“You see?” Jackie asked her. Then she turned back to Nathan, poking a finger into his chest. “If I ever see another mark on my daughter, the coppers will be hearing about it.”

Nathan said nothing. Jackie stormed away. Rose sighed, scrubbing her hands over her face. She was so tired. She just wanted it to be over. 

She turned toward Nathan, opened her mouth to speak, and closed it again. She’d said all she could possibly say, so instead she just walked out. Nathan didn’t follow. 

#

Nathan sighed, leaning back in his chair and lifting a hand to rub at his eyes. He needed to leave, he was due to meet his dad and brother at the pub, but Rose was blocking the exit, talking with Daniel and Rafe. They’d done a spectacular job avoiding each other the last few weeks. The most contact they’d had was the day Jackie came storming in. After that, Nathan couldn’t bear to be in the same room, so he’d changed their weekly meetings to weekly email updates, and if the staff or the boys noticed the difference, no one said. 

Nathan sent a text to his dad, letting him know that Nathan was running behind, and then waited another ten minutes before Rose finally left and he could escape without running into her. He sighed as he drove towards the pub. He couldn’t stand to look at Rose, to be around her, not knowing what he’d done, but he also couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her bright smile, her laugh, the two incredible nights that he’d been inside her, every moment played through his head on an endless loop. He was no good for her though. He was better off going back to his life of bachelordom. 

“Nathan, my boy!” Alton cried when Nathan finally walked through the door. He slid into the booth next to Nigel. 

“You and Rose get caught up saying goodbye?” Nigel teased. Nathan went lightheaded. He’d forgotten in all his misery that his family didn’t know…anything. 

“Rose…” Nathan’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “Rose and I are uh…we’re not together anymore.”

“What?” Alton snapped, his eyes narrowed. Nathan briefly considered sticking with the original plan, telling his family that Rose was the cause of their break-up, but he’d never been inclined to lie and he couldn’t stand to sully Rose in the eyes of his family. 

“We actually never were.”

“What are you on about?” Nigel asked. Nathan groaned, his head falling forward to rest on the table. The waitress set a pint next to his head and he grumbled his thanks. He’d need it to get through the whole story. 

“When she came to the wedding with me, she was engaged to this prat Mickey. Not to me. When mum got so excited over the ring, Rose couldn’t bear to ruin it, and so we just went along with the idea. We were going to tell everyone we’d split later, but then…”

“You fell for her,” Alton said. Nathan nodded and took a long pull from his beer. 

“Aye. I fell for her, she fell for me, but we kept our distance until she found out her real fiancé was cheating on her.”

“Thought as much. I know love when I see it, young man, and you and that girl were arse over teakettle for each other,” Alton explained. “So what happened? What’s so big you can’t fix it?”

“I hit her.” Nathan didn’t bother putting the statement in context. It didn’t matter the circumstances. 

“You did no such thing,” Alton cried, shock evident in his voice. 

“I did. I was…I was having a nightmare, and she woke me.”

“So you hit her?” Nigel asked. 

“I didn’t know it was her. I was disoriented. But the truth of it is I hit her, doesn’t matter how or why. If something as simple as sleeping next to me is a danger to her, then we can’t be together.”

“How did she take it?” Nigel questioned. Nathan shook his head. 

“Doesn’t matter. This is what’s best.”

Alton scoffed and shook his head. “I didn’t raise my son to be a coward. That girl loves you and you love her. So you got caught up in a bad moment. Doesn’t matter. Buck up, son, and do what it takes to fix it. Get counseling for your nightmares, which you should have done years ago by the way, when you first left the service, and then make it right with Rose.”

“It’s not that simple, Dad.”

“It is that simple, Nathan. Listen to your old dad. I’ve been around a time or two.”

Nathan sighed. He’d get the counseling, his dad was right that he should have done it long ago, but his relationship with Rose was damaged beyond repair. He knew it. 

#

Rose snuggled into the corner of the couch and turned the telly on to a Top Gear rerun. Daniel and Rafe had invited her out to the pub after work, but she’d begged off. She didn’t feel much like going out lately. She knew that things were over between her and Nathan, and that she needed to move on, but she couldn’t seem to muster up the will. She missed him, fiercely. 

Her mobile rang not long after she’d settled in. She debated not answering it, but gave in. That turned out to be a mistake. 

“Rose! As I’m sure you know, Nigel and Dad are out with Nathan. Martha and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to steal you away for a girl’s night!” Donna cried happily. 

Rose bit back a sob. She’d forgotten that his family didn’t know about their break up. “Um…”

“Rose? What’s wrong?”

She’d tried to sound normal, but she should have known that Donna would notice. She winced as her tears fell and a sob forced its way from her throat. “We…”

She couldn’t manage more than that. She hadn’t properly cried since the day after the incident and it hit her without warning. She heard Donna’s soothing murmurs on the other end of the line. 

“We’ll be over soon.”

Rose was still crying when Donna and Martha let themselves into her flat. They busied themselves with something in the kitchen, and then came to surround Rose. Martha cuddled up beside her while Donna knelt before her.

“Rose, what happened to your face?” Donna cried when she got a look at it. Martha reached out and gently turned Rose’s head so she could see the damage.   
She gently prodded Rose’s eye and lip, then smoothed a comforting hand over her cheek. 

“It’s…it’s a long story,” Rose said around a hiccup. 

“We’ve got time,” Martha promised.

“And we’ve got ice cream and wine,” Donna said. Rose choked out a laugh. 

“We’ll need it,” she said, her voice wavering a bit. She took a deep breath. “Before I tell you what happened to my eye, I have to start from the beginning. I have to tell you everything.”

Rose spent the next little while telling them the entire story; how she and Nathan had lied to them and then fallen in love, Mickey’s betrayal, and finally the incident with Nathan. They listened without comment or judgement, Martha stroking Rose’s shoulder as she got emotional recounting the sting of Nathan’s hand against her face. 

“Oh Rose,” Donna whispered when the story was finally done. She gathered Rose close and hugged her.

“Aren’t you mad at me?” Rose cried into her shoulder. Donna chuckled.

“Never. You didn’t lie out of cruelty, and if my prat of a brother had dealt with his issues years ago we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“It’s not his fault,” Rose moaned. 

“Well it’s not yours either,” Donna said. She pulled back, smoothing the hair away from Rose’s face and cupping her cheeks. “Now, how about a proper girl’s night; wine, ice cream, and sappy movies?” 

Rose laughed and leaned in to hug both Martha and Donna. It was nice to know they were there for her, no matter what.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Results are in, I'll be posting weekly until the end! Which really is only a handful of chapters. 
> 
> Note: this chapter contains discussion of PTSD, and the cause of the PTSD. There's some strong war imagery, though nothing terribly graphic. If that sort of thing bothers you, skip to the second section of the chapter. 
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Chapter 12

“How long were you in the Royal Army?” Vanessa, Nathan’s new therapist, asked. She leaned forward, her elbows propped on the notepad settled across her knees, and stared at him. It was unnerving, and Nathan wished he was anywhere else, but he made a promise and he would see it through. 

“Twelve years.”

“And your rank?”

“Why does it matter?” Nathan snapped. Vanessa simply raised an eyebrow. Nathan sighed. “Captain Nathan Noble, at your service.”

“Did you enjoy serving Queen and Country?”

“I felt it my duty,” Nathan said. His father and grandfather before him had served in the Royal Army as well. Though Nathan had hated the idea of going to war, of ever seeing a moment’s combat, he felt compelled to join up.

“Twelve years is a long time to stay in if you joined out of a sense of duty. You could’ve got out after your first enlistment, duty fulfilled. Why did you stay?”   
Vanessa scrawled quickly on her notepad. Nathan took a deep breath and held it as he counted to ten. Talking about his time in service was not something he did. In fact, Rose was one of the only people outside of his immediate family who’d heard stories. 

Nathan shook his head. No use thinking about…her. 

“Nathan, I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.”

Nathan sighed. “I could have left. But by then I felt a duty to my fellow soldiers, and later to my subordinates. I couldn’t leave them.”

“It sounds as though you cared greatly for them.”

“I did.” Visions of the men under his command flashed through his mind. Some of the memories were happy, but others…

“Tell me what your nightmares are about,” Vanessa urged softly. Nathan’s teeth clenched as he tried to banish the images from his mind. 

“We were conducting a mine sweep.”

Laughter, joy, comradery. The skittering of stones as a young soldier tripped. The breathless moment of tension. The blast that knocked them off their feet. A second blast. A third.

“It was a chain reaction,” Nathan gasped, his heart racing. Sweat beaded on his brow. 

The deafening whomp whomp of the helicopter’s blades as it hovered, trying to reach the wounded. The harsh bark of his voice as he called orders to his men, trying to minimize casualties. The galloping beat of his heart as he prayed that the vibrations from the helicopter wouldn’t set off another mine.

“They couldn’t…the helicopter couldn’t reach us.”

The coppery tang of blood in the air as he and the other unwounded men attempted to carry the wounded to safety. The heavy burden of six dead men across his shoulders. The dying boy he’d carried to safety, to live what kind of life?

“You feel guilty,” Vanessa said, her voice barely a whisper.

“Yes.”

“It was your job to keep them from harm.”

“Yes.”

“It’s your fault they’re dead.”

“Yes!” The roar that ripped itself from Nathan’s chest surprised even him. Vanessa reared back, but her open, warm expression never changed. 

“No.”

“What?” Nathan asked, breathing heavy. 

“What should you have done differently? According to the official procedures, what should you have done differently? What rules did you break?”

Nathan sat back, running through every bit of policy and procedures stored in his brain. There was very little of it he’d forgotten, despite being a civilian for years. 

“I should have…”

“Actual policy, Nathan. Remember.”

He bit back the self-flagellation waiting on his tongue. “None.”

Vanessa let the word ring through the silence for a moment, let it sink into Nathan’s mind. She waited as Nathan cried, for the first time since his reentry into civilian life, for the young men who died that day and for the men still alive to remember it.

“This was a big break-through, Nathan,” she said quietly after he’d had a moment to compose himself. “I’ll see you at our next appointment.”

Nathan left feeling like he’d been hit by a lorry. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and sleep for the rest of the day, but Noble House was waiting. 

#

Rose couldn’t concentrate. She was typing up notes from her latest home visit with Graham, who’d transitioned out to his own flat, but her eyes kept straying towards Nathan’s office. He’d trudged in an hour ago, looking like he’d been on a bender. She was worried. 

“Rooooosie!” Jack sang from the doorway. She jumped and frowned at him. 

“What?”

“I’ve been saying your name for five minutes. I brought you some lunch. Jackie said you’ve been looking a bit worse for wear lately.”

Jack invited himself into her office and sprawled in the chair opposite her desk. He dropped a bag of chips on the corner, the smell of fried potato and salt and vinegar making her mouth water. She’d hardly had an appetite since the mess with Nathan started. 

“Thanks, Jack.”

“Still on the outs with the boss?” Jack asked. 

“I don’t think you can even call it on the outs. We barely speak, and when we do it’s about Noble House. I wish…I just wish he would talk to me,” Rose said, swallowing past the lump in her throat. 

“He’s an idiot, Rose,” Jack said gently. Rose sighed. She didn’t want to discuss Nathan with her cousin, even if he was just trying to be helpful. 

“How’s Ianto?” She asked, hoping to distract him. 

It worked. Jack launched into tales of his latest adventures, both with Ianto and without, and had Rose in stitches after just a few minutes. She could barely catch her breath from laughing. Finally, when the chips were devoured and Jack was out of stories, or new ones anyway, Rose stood and went around her desk to hug him. 

“Thank you, Jack.”

He held her tightly for a long minute, and then pulled back just enough to cup her cheeks in his hands. 

“You’re incredible, Rosie,” he said softly. Then he pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

When Rose stepped away, she saw Nathan standing in the doorway, his eyes dark. Jack followed her gaze, his eyes twinkling with mischief. 

“Jack don’t,” Rose muttered. He winked at her.

“Hello! You must be Rose’s boss. I’m Jack.” He held out his hand to shake and Nathan grabbed it, squeezing tightly. Rose watched the two former soldiers staring each other down and pitied anyone who managed to cross them both. 

“Are you finished? Rose has actual work to attend to,” Nathan said tightly. Rose rolled her eyes. 

“Yep! Just bringing Rosie some lunch. Gotta get the quality time with her where I can, you know.” Jack winked again and Nathan’s fists clenched. 

“Did you need something?” Rose asked. 

“Thomas would like to speak with us,” Nathan growled. Rose nodded, and turned to Jack.

“Thank you for lunch,” she said. Jack smiled and brushed a kiss against her cheek. 

“My pleasure. Ring me when you get home, would you?”

Rose rolled her eyes but laughed. “Sure.”

Jack left and Rose followed Nathan to his office, where Thomas was waiting. Rose tried to steel herself against whatever news he might have. If Lou was pregnant, they would deal with it. Rose wasn’t going to let his entire future, all the progress they’d made at Noble House, be wiped away by a baby. She would help them with whatever they needed.

Nathan slumped into his chair as Rose took the seat next to Thomas. “Thomas?”

“Lou’s not pregnant.”

“Oh thank God,” Nathan groaned. He ignored Rose’s harsh glare. 

“Are you okay?” Rose asked. Thomas nodded, his knee bouncing slightly. 

“Yeah. I mean, it’s for the best, yeah? And Lou’s happy. So yeah, m’fine.”

“I don’t want a repeat of this situation, do you understand, Thomas?” Nathan demanded. Thomas nodded. “You’ve got chores to do, I’d imagine?”

Thomas rose to his feet and shuffled out of the office. Rose shook her head. “I know you think a child is the worst thing in the world that could happen to someone, but you didn’t have to be so harsh with him.”

Nathan didn’t meet her gaze. “That’s not what I think.”

“You did a fine job of acting like it.”

Nathan opened his mouth to say something, but Rose was done. She’d had enough. She stomped back to her office and slammed the door behind her. 

#

Nathan wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. His therapy session had taken more out of him than he’d realized, and coupled with arguing with Rose…he was knackered. He pushed open the door to his flat and groaned when he realized the light was on. 

“Oi, you.” 

He winced at the sound of Donna’s voice. He hadn’t spoken to her recently, but she must have known about Rose. 

“Donna,” he greeted, trying for nonchalance. “Still letting yourself into my flat, I see.”

“Don’t get smart with me, Nathan. You lied to me. And you hurt Rose!”

“Rose lied too, aren’t you cross with her?” Nathan wanted to take the words back the moment he said them. Donna’s eyes blazed in fury and she smacked him sharply on the back of his head. “Ow!”

“I don’t know what the devil is wrong with you right now, but I don’t like it one bit. You’re better than this, Nathan. Yes, Rose lied, but she’s not my brother. But I really don’t care about that. I care about what happened between you and Rose!”

Nathan hung his head and scrubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t want to relive the experience again. Not when he was torturing himself over it every time he looked at her. “I don’t want to talk about it, Donna.”

“I don’t care. That girl is miserable, you git. She was heartbroken when we talked. Not because you hit her, but because you’ve completely shut her out! What, exactly, is the problem?”

“I’m a danger to her!” Nathan shouted. Donna threw her hands in the air. 

“You are not! Nathan, everyone makes mistakes! You made a mistake not getting help right away, and she made a mistake waking you from a nightmare. That doesn’t mean you give up the best thing that ever happened to you! You can learn from this, you can fix it and do better next time. I don’t know if you remember or not, but relationships take work, Nathan. If Lee and I split every time we fought, we’d never have gotten married! You mess up, and you learn, and you fight for each other. Do you love her?”

Nathan stared at his sister. His emotions were choking him, a tight band around his chest. He regretted everything about that night with Rose, and his reaction later. He shook his head. 

“It doesn’t matter now, Donna. It’s too late.”

“It’s only too late if you let it be. Fight for her, Nathan.” 

Donna opened her mouth to say more, but took a breath and shook her head. There was nothing left to say that hadn’t been said a hundred times before, and her brother was nothing if not hard headed. Instead, she kissed his cheek and left.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last full chapter! Only the epilogue remains after this.

Chapter 13

Rose splashed cold water on her face, and then scrubbed her mascara stained cheeks. She hadn’t had such an emotional session in a long time. Intakes were always hard, and the new boy Russell’s circumstances hadn’t made it any easier. Rose was simply thankful she’d managed to hold it together until after Daniel   
showed Russell to his new room. She spent the next half hour sobbing in her dark, locked office. 

“Time to pack it in, I think,” she told herself in the mirror. It was already much later than she usually left, and if she stayed too long, well the bus was not her favorite place to be late at night. She went back to her office and packed her things, then slipped quietly out the back door. She didn’t want to run into anyone, especially Nathan. She was getting used to the idea that they were never going to work out, but it still hurt to see him. 

The cool night air felt wonderful on her face, and she paused to take in a deep breath before she continued on to the bus stop. 

“’Ello cutie,” a rough voice drawled behind her. Rose turned to find three men eyeing her. “Want some company?”

The man talking made a lewd gesture indicating just what kind of company he meant. 

“No, ta,” Rose said. She surreptitiously reached for the pepper spray in her bag, just in case.

“Oh come on. You look like you could use it.”

“I said no,” Rose said sharply. 

One of the men reached out and grabbed her.

#

Nathan sighed. He wasn’t getting any work done, his mind was a million miles away. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Donna said, about fighting for Rose. Was it too late, really? He thought at first that she’d moved on with the man that brought her chips the other day, but he talked himself out of it. They seemed much too familiar to be newly dating. He scrubbed a hand over his face and hair. No use thinking it to death.

He packed up his things, ready to head home and crawl into bed. He stopped on his way out and made sure that Daniel would call if anything went wrong with Russell, new intakes could be hard, and then went out the back towards his car.

It was late, but not so late that the streets were empty. Nathan heard the rumble of voices just around the corner, laughter. He decided to take a detour and check that it wasn’t a group of Noble House boys loitering past curfew.

When he rounded the corner, his blood ran cold. A trio of men were crowding Rose, taunting her by the looks of it. “I said no.”

One of them grabbed her by the arm, hauling her close, and Nathan couldn’t hold himself back. He heard a cry and the man that grabbed Rose went down, but Nathan wasn’t paying attention. He grabbed one of the other men by the collar, landing a solid punch to his jaw before rounding on the third man.One withering stare was all it took for him to turn tail and run.

Nathan turned to Rose, frantically looking for any sign of injury. He missed the daggers coming from her eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out to her. Rose flinched away.

“What the hell was that?” Rose snapped. Nathan frowned. 

“I…they were…I was saving you,” he stammered. 

“Saving me? I can take care of myself, Nathan! You don’t get to just flit in and out of my life, decide you want to be with me one minute and not the next! If you don’t want anything to do with me, then stay the hell away from me!” Rose shoved him, forcefully, and he stumbled back. 

“Rose, you needed help. Those men…”

“I’m not some damsel in distress! I didn’t need a knight in shining armor or a hero, I only ever needed you!”

Nathan belated realized that she was crying. Not just crying, but outright sobbing, her breaths coming in hiccups between tears. He hated to see her that way.   
He hated that it was his fault. She opened her mouth to say more, but Nathan didn’t give her the chance.

He kissed her. 

It was like coming home, the press of his lips against hers. He’d missed her oh, so much.

She shoved him back. “No! You don’t get to just kiss me and make it all better. It doesn’t change anything. You ran away from me, not the other way around.”

Nathan’s shoulders drooped and he sighed.

“I know, Rose. I’m…I’m sorry. That’s all there is to it. I treated you horribly. I was so afraid, Rose. Afraid of what I was feeling, afraid of hurting you.”

“You did hurt me. Maybe not physically, but emotionally, you pushing me away hurt,” Rose said. Nathan itched to take her in his arms, but he held himself back. 

“I’m sorry. I never wanted that. I only wanted to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting. I know my own mind, Nathan, I know what I can handle. Let me decide when I’ve had enough, yeah?” She smiled a bit, just a hint of one, really. Hope bloomed in Nathan’s chest.

“I hit you, Rose.”

“Not on purpose. Nathan, I grew up on an estate. I didn’t run with the best crowd when I was young, or date the most respectful boys, and I work every day with kids who have suffered abuse. I know it when I see it. You’re about the least abusive man there is.” She reached up to cup his cheek, stepping closer as she did.   
Nathan sucked in a breath. 

“Can…can we fix this?” he asked, his voice rough. 

“Do you want to?” Rose asked.

He nodded into her palm. “Very much.”

“Then let’s go someplace and talk.”

#

They ended up at Nathan’s flat, simply because it was the closest place to Noble House. It was uneasy at first, both of them sipping tea and unsure of what to say, but eventually they started talking. They talked and they shouted and they cried as they worked through everything. Nathan told her stories from his time in service that he’d never told anyone else, including the incident that triggered his PTSD. Rose cried with him for all those dead soldiers, and held him as he sobbed. 

They exhausted themselves with talk and tears. They agreed to try again, and fell into a deep sleep, curled together in Nathan’s bed. 

Rose woke first. The sun was streaming in through the blinds and she winced before turning in Nathan’s arms. He slept deeply, his arm draped over her waist.   
Rose took the opportunity to soak him in. She’d avoided looking at him for so long, so she drank in every bit of him, cataloging every minute change.

She couldn’t resist leaning in to brush her lips against his. He hummed and smiled in his sleep. Rose shifted to get more comfortable and felt him, hard and ready, against her thigh. A wicked thought crept into her mind and she smiled as she slipped her hand inside his pants to gently stroke him. 

His hips jerked and he grunted, but didn’t wake. Rose continued to work him, watching every twitch of his face. His eyelashes fluttered and he groaned out her name, but he didn’t wake. 

Rose gently eased Nathan to his back and wiggled lower on the bed, easing his pants over his hips as she went. Touching him was no longer enough, she was desperate to taste him. She didn’t waste any time teasing him, simply engulfed him and sucked.

His hips bucked restlessly as she worked him. “Rose…”

Her eyes flicked up to his face, but he wasn’t quite awake. He was getting there, though. She gave him another hard pull, dragging her mouth up the length of his shaft before swirling her tongue around the tip. 

She knew the moment he woke fully. His hand flew to her hair, tugging gently. “Rose!”

His hips bucked hard as he came. She swallowed and pulled away, smiling. A daft grin was plastered over Nathan’s face. 

“What was that?” he asked. Rose crawled back up to nestle in his side. 

“Making up for lost time,” she said. Nathan leaned in to kiss her, his tongue immediately sweeping into her mouth. Rose moaned and sucked lightly on his tongue. Nathans arm around her shoulders tightened. 

“Seems I have some time to make up as well,” he said. He leaned back, his eyes raking over her body, covered as it was by his vest. “This looks much better on you.”

He kissed her, pulling her close and letting his hands wander. One slipped under his vest, skating up her side and then palming her breast. She sucked in a sharp breath. The feel of his calloused thumb brushing her nipple to a stiff peak sent a rush of heat through her. It felt like ages since he’d last touched her.   
Nathan abandoned her breast, his hand sliding down her stomach to the waistband of her knickers. He traced along the edge, sending shivers of delight through her, before slipping his hand inside. Rose’s hips bucked as he traced her slit. She felt ready to explode from that simple touch. Then his hand disappeared. Rose groaned. 

“I want to taste you,” Nathan whispered, his breath hot against the shell of her ear. 

“God yes,” she gasped, racing to shove her knickers off. 

Nathan shimmied down her body until he was nestled between her thighs, one of her legs draped over his back. He pushed the hem of his vest up to her hips, his hands slipping beneath it to touch bare skin. Nathan looked up at her; her hair fanned out over his pillow, her cheeks pink with desire. 

“Christ, you’re beautiful,” he said. 

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” she teased. Nathan chuckled, and wasted no more time. He gently traced the seam of her lips with the tip of his finger before working one inside her. Rose gasped and then yelped as he leaned in to lick her. 

While he tasted her, his free hand slid further under the vest, until he was tugging on her nipple. The move sent bolts of pleasure to her core and Nathan moaned when he tasted the evidence. 

“Fuck,” Rose gasped. Nathan chuckled and sucked hard on her clit, making her cry out again. He added a second finger, pumping slowly before pausing to curl them inside her. Rose shook beneath him, the beginnings of her orgasm coiling tight in her belly. 

Nathans fingers and tongue were relentless. Rose didn’t even bother trying to stifle her cries, she was simply concentrating on drawing out the experience as   
long as possible. It wasn’t going to matter, though. 

“Nathan,” Rose gasped, tremors already starting to race through her body. “Fuck, Nathan, I’m-“ 

She cried out, her hips lifting off the bed as she came, hard. 

He worked her down with gently licks and kisses before crawling up her body to kiss her. He was hard again, and Rose shifted so that he was cradled between her legs.

“Make love to me, Nathan.”

They drew it out, this time, teasing each other with gentle touches and soft kisses. Nathan pulled his vest top over her head and basked in the sight of her naked in his bed. He’d missed her so much, and he resolved to show her.

When he finally pushed inside her, they both stilled, soaking in the feeling. Then Rose, ever the impatient one, rolled her hips. Still, they took their time, rocking together slowly until their orgasms flowed over them like a wave.

“I love you,” Rose said, when Nathan collapsed beside her. He reached out to trace a finger down her cheek.

“Oh Rose, I love you too.”


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh y'all. I was supposed to post this like two weeks ago (at least) but I just couldn't bear to be done with this fic. I have loved writing this so much, and I hope you've loved reading it! Thanks for sticking with me!
> 
>  
> 
> My next fic (title TBD) will be a Human Nature/Family of Blood rewrite with Rose! It will also be kidfic, so if you're not into one of both of those things then you might want to skip it. It will likely be a bit before I start posting though. 
> 
> In the meantime, I'll still be posting my Hardy x Hannah fic Into the Dark!

Epilogue – One Year Later

Nathan bolted upright in bed. A rude pounding on the door startled him out of a dream, one he’s struggling to remember. His heart was pounding, but it wasn’t a nightmare. He didn’t smell the acrid tang of blood like he usually does following his nightmares, and he hadn’t had one in months. But what…and then he remembered. Lying curled in bed with Rose on a rainy morning, the rapid thump of little feet against the floor, the cries of “Da” and “Mama” as he lifted their little one into bed with them. Definitely not a nightmare, but the best kind of dream. 

Someone pounded on the door again, and he groaned. 

“Good morning, sunshine!” Donna called through the door. “You’d better shift if you don’t want to be late to your own wedding!”

Looking around the room, Nathan realized that he was in his bedroom at Conkwell Grange. Rose wasn’t bedside him, Sylvia had insisted they keep just that one tradition. He scrubbed a hand over his face and smiled. In just a few hours, he’d never have to sleep without her again. How he managed to convince Rose to marry him, an old, wounded soldier, he still couldn’t fathom. 

“Nathan!”

“I’m awake!” He heard Donna retreat down the hall and then start pounding on the door to Rose’s room. He grinned again. 

He was getting married. 

#

Rose groaned at the pounding on the door, resting her forehead against the blessedly cool porcelain. 

“Rose! Wake up!” Donna called. 

“I’m up!” Rose yelled, using all her strength. She fervently hoped Donna wouldn’t demand to come in. She didn’t want her sister-in-law to be the first person to discover her secret. 

Bile pushed it’s way up her throat and she grimaced as she threw up again. How Nathan hadn’t already figured it out, she wasn’t sure. He had been fascinated with her larger breasts lately, but maybe he hadn’t put two and two together. Why would he? They’d been careful, except for one night she barely remembered and he certainly didn’t. They’d gone to the pub with Nathan’s siblings and things had gotten rowdy. When they arrived home, they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other, and they’d forgotten a condom. 

Rose was thrilled. Well, sort of. She loved that she was having Nathan’s baby, but Nathan…would he be thrilled? They hadn’t ever discussed kids and suddenly Rose was smacking herself for that oversight. How did they manage to get all the way to their wedding day without talking about having kids? The only insight she had was how he’d reacted over Thomas’s pregnancy scare, and it hadn’t been good. Oh, he wouldn’t want to marry her now.

She sighed. She’d tell him, just as soon as she could stop throwing up. 

#

Nathan double checked his tux, making sure everything was in its place. The ceremony was due to start in half an hour, and he could barely stand to wait another minute. He hadn’t seen Rose all day, outside of the occasional glimpse before his mother or sister shepherded her away. He couldn’t wait for the honeymoon; two weeks of just the two of them on the beach in Tahiti. No meddling family to keep them apart. 

Donna burst through the door to his room. 

“We’ve got a problem.”

“What?” Nathan asked. Donna twisted her fingers together. He’d never seen her so nervous.

“Rose…well, she’s locked herself in and she won’t come out.”

“What are you talking about, Donna?”

“The bridesmaids all left to put their things away, and when we got back Rose had locked the door to mum and dad’s room. She won’t let anyone in, and she says she isn’t coming out.”

Nathan felt lightheaded. Was Rose having second thoughts? Did she not want to marry him? He followed Donna quickly to the master bedroom and rapped on the door. 

“Rose?” he asked. 

He heard sniffling on the other side of the door. 

“Rose, love, what’s going on? Talk to me?”

There was a rustle of fabric and more sniffling. It sounded like she was sitting against the door. Nathan slid down to the floor, resting a hand on the solid wood and wishing he could take Rose in his arms and sooth away her fears. 

“I can’t,” she whispered. He could barely hear it through the door. 

“Why not? Are you getting cold feet? Do you want to call this off?” Nathan took a deep breath, steeling himself for the words he was about to say. “We can, love. If you don’t want to marry me, we can still call this off.”

He heard sobs through the door and his heart clenched. 

“Rose?”

“Of course I want to marry you!”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Rose sobbed for a moment and then went quiet. “I’m afraid you’re not going to want to marry me.”

“I’ve never wanted anything more! Why wouldn’t I?” Nathan tried to think of anything he might have said or done in the last few days to make Rose feel that way, but he couldn’t. They’d had a wonderful weekend preparing for the wedding and spending time with their family and friends. Two nights ago, they’d snuck out to the gardens and made love under the stars. He could find no moment that would make Rose feel that way. 

Rose was quiet for a long time. So long that he almost missed her answer.

“I’m pregnant, Nathan.”

His heart stopped in his chest. A baby? He remembered his dream, the feelings of utter contentment at having their child wrapped up with them. Why in the world would Rose think he didn’t want that? They’d never discussed it really but…

“Rose, is this about what I said to Thomas?” 

“You made children seem like the worst thing that could happen to you,” Rose said, sniffling. 

“Open the door.”

“No, Nathan. I can’t. If you’re going to leave…”

“Rose, open the door.” He stood and rattled at the doorknob. If he had to kick the door in, he would. 

He heard the lock snick and Rose moved away from the door. He wasted no time rushing inside, barely pausing before he swept Rose into his arms. 

“You’re not supposed to see my dress,” she whimpered. 

“Sod it, Rose.” He pulled back just enough to take her face in his hands, looking her straight in the eyes. He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks, clearing away the tears. “Love, I meant that a child would be bad for Thomas, a child himself. I didn’t mean those things in the context of a committed, adult relationship. I’m thrilled you’re pregnant. I had a dream about it just last night.”

“Really?” Rose asked. 

“Really. Rose, this is the greatest gift you could ever give me.”

Rose choked on a sob and laughed. Nathan leaned in to kiss her, his heart swelling with joy. He wrapped her in his arms and lifted her off her feet, twirling her around. She laughed fully, and Nathan thought he’d never heard a sweeter sound. He set her down and kissed her.

“Let’s go get married.”

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Link to Rose's wedding outfit (minus all the jewelry except the earrings): http://www.polyvore.com/royal_blue_floral_dress_fascinator/set?id=130134014


End file.
